Sheer Dumb Luck
by Roxas-Has-A-Stick
Summary: Roxas is starting anew. New brothers, new body, new school, new crazy stalkers some who want to kill him, some who don't , but he's still got his imagination and his cruel wit, a reason to read this! On Hiatus -but chapter 7 being written coz' I care-
1. Of sighing, artistry, and happy Demyx's

Hey peoples!

Finally managed to start this one. Thoughts came flying outta nowhere in particular and I just typed away (and screwed up my original image of this story).

I'd love it if you could review after reading please! -uses infamous Bambi- eyes I love it when I get reviews, unless they're flamers of the horribly mean variety, then I feel sad and spend the next day and a bit lying in bed eating frozen yoghurt. It happens.

So, anywhoo. I've decided I want to test your music knowledge. Each chapter shall be called something suitable from the lyrics of a song that I may or may not know, and I will give cyber mini sugar donuts (can't give you real ones as they may get lost in the mail, but it's the thought that counts) to whoever first gets the song right.

Here I am, waffling about nothing when you lot should be amazing yourselves with the fact that I'm among the few fanfictionists (teehee ) who started with a sorta Roxas pov where he has Sora as a twin without making him sleeping in bed and being woken up by Sora!

So enjoy!!!!

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Title+

'_We're goin' home, it's nice and warm to say. He starts to move, she starts to play. I need a body, why not you. He's a woman, she's a man'_

Roxas sighed as he sat down on his new bed, staring at the four walls that he would soon familiarize and, consequently, grow to hate. His new room was bare and awaiting the personalization scheme that came with being part of a house, though Roxas still wasn't sure what persona he wanted to become, as he'd only really been a boy for little over a week.

Yes, it was true. Roxas was really a girl (thus the reason his name was so girly). But being daughter to the most dangerous of makes-mission-impossible-seem-like-a-cinch type spy dad and a mom who slid her way in among the top dogs of the world and created pure havoc has it's disadvantages, like never getting the time to talk to your folks and getting chased by lots of gun totting idiots. _I wonder which one's worse_, Roxas thought wryly.

At one point either of them must've angered someone with a lot of time and money, for after school about two months earlier two guys in sciency white coats and blue gloves came up to her and tried to stick a needle in her neck.

Though they weren't expecting Roxas to know how to kick scrawny hiney! Her parents had deemed Roxas in danger and had done everything in their power (quite a bit actually) to keep her safe. Even if it meant giving her a change of sex (done through the magic of surgery), eye color, school, family, life, everything…

"Roooooooooxy! You didn't have'ta tie my shoelaces together in order to get the best room, you know? I would've been a good big brother and let you have it anyway," whined a similar aged chocolate haired boy from just outside the door.

"Twin, Sora! We are twins." Roxas called back, sending the kid a dry look. He'd only known this guy for as long as he'd been a boy and was already so close to him that no one would expect them to be son and daughter of different rich people who wanted them safe.

Sora waved a skinny arm in an 'a miner detail' kind of pose. Before turning on his heel and leave his new twin brother.

Roxas had little or no clue about his new twins past. All he knew was that Sora's real name wasn't really Sora and he was soooooooo! hyper that any sugary treats was absolutely out of the question when around him.

Roxas sighed for the second time that day and decided to check out his new bathroom. It was small and antique and apparently not the only one in the house, just the upstairs one. There was plenty of space for Roxas to leave his shit lying around and had a big glazed window so as to keep the bathroom mold-free with a minimum of peeping toms eyesight allowed to see within.

Roxas caught his appearance in the big mirror and started staring blankly at his face. He'd been doing the same thing ever since he became a guy. Every time he saw a mirror, he'd stare at his new (and way too cute for his liking) face.

He had big viper blue eyes that managed to contain so many emotions he decided that he'd need to practice hiding a few of them, or else it'll be like people reading his mind except really reading his eyes. The eyes seemed to fit perfectly in with his golden blonde hair, which was currently only a little bit spiked but Roxas decided that that would change just as soon as he bought some gel. He liked his hair spiked well.

Roxas jumped a bit as he turned to see Sora standing next to him. They ended up both staring at each other in general.

"Nah, I still don't see what Cloud's on about, we don't look _that_ much like," Sora shrugged, still looking at Roxas and himself. Cloud was their new older brother and he was the one who was supposed to keep them safe. Doing a crap job so far as he wasn't even in the house. Roxas theorized that Cloud was getting the rest of the furniture from the garage it'd been kept in. The three of them had spent their first week of becoming a family in a little inconspicuous motel room, now it was bring on their house, and eventually their school.

Sora and Roxas had been purposely adapted (with the fine art of surgery. Roxas loved how much a person could change through just a few billion dollars) to look the same. And though their short height, little weight, scrawny body structure and expressional bright cerulean eyes were both alike in every manner of the word. That was kind of where the sameness ended.

Sora's skin was a cinnamon mixed with milk sort of color, like the main color in well-done hot chocolate, while Roxas had a creamy pale skin tone. His hair was a strong shade of brown and stuck out randomly in big clumps, quite unlike Roxas blonde hair with the spikes all in one, slightly angled, direction.

Roxas glared at his stupid hair and saw his reflection give off a cute pout. He tried dementing his face into a true glare, though the effort was lost on his childish face.

Sora laughed. "It won't work Rox. I can't get my face to stop pouting either. Though I found out the bambi eyes work a treat, do you think we could create an army if we both begged them to with the bambi eyes at the same time?"

Roxas thought about it for a second. "Maybe…" then his pouting reflection changed instantly, and his eyes became the best puppy dog look he could muster, Sora copied him exactly and as they stared at their adorable 'obey my every command and both of us shall be happy, and you want us to be happy, don't you?' faces, they realized that they were and unbeatable force when put together.

"Let's only do this look individually, people at our new high school may get used to the 'evil twin puppy dog' look if we kept doing it together," Sora said, his eyes going back to their original look.

Roxas nodded, "Our secret weapon, eh?"

Sora giggled and leaned on Roxas' shoulder. Something he new Roxas didn't like.

"Oi!" Roxas said, taking a step backwards, "I've got this personal bubble around me with a radius of two feet and you can't go into it without my specified invitation."

Sora just shuffled along with him and continued staring at his and Roxas' reflections blankly.

He turned to Roxas with a serious look on his face and said in a deep voice, "Then consider me your personal bubble popper!"

Roxas didn't say anything for the second, opting to look down at their feet instead.

"Wow, there's one big difference. Your feet a HUGE!" he laughed as he noticed that Sora's feet were about an inch and a bit longer than his own. Sora huffed and poked Roxas in the cheek.

A car door slammed outside and Sora gasped in delight. Instantly forgetting the insult. He left the bathroom and ran down the carpeted stairs shouting, "Omigosh! Our new stuff is here! What have we got Cloud?! I hope there's one of those really squishy couches!"

Roxas sighed (again) and followed his warped twin.

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The day before Roxas and Sora were going to their new high, Roxas still didn't know where it was as there were at least three schools in the area, was when their new older brother, Cloud, sat them down to discuss what they'd say about their past to their new school mates if asked. They couldn't even utter a word of their protection program and if they mucked up on their fake past… well let's just say it wouldn't be pretty.

"Okay, you've had the whole week to memorize those papers with our new history on them, I'm gonna quiz you." Cloud said as he took his grey apron off and stretched out on the loveseat, leaving Roxas and Sora to unintentionally groan and sit on wooden chairs and other randomly found sitting objects.

Cloud was a good guy. Tall and muscular (unlike his new younger siblings) and good at whatever he did, which currently was cooking and delivery service. He had the blondest of blonde hair and eyes that matched Roxas and Sora's, though with less emotion in them.

"Sora," Sora perked up at the sound of his name. Cloud continued, "What's mom and dad's names?" Sora didn't even need to think about it, he replied quickly. "Lenne and Shuyin." (AN- perfect in my opinion, Lenne's hair and Shuyin's skin on Sora, and Shuyin's hair and Lenne's skin tone on Roxas, tada!)

"Yep. Roxas, what school did you and Sora used to go to?" Roxas looked up, as he'd been staring at the floor for most of the time so far.

"Mount Crapton High," he provided, receiving a hard glare from Cloud, "Roxas!"

Roxas frowned slightly, "What? I probably would've said that even if I had gone to it. I mean, have you even seen the pictures of it? The place is an absolute shithole!" Roxas replied, his eyes returning to a certain spot on the carpet.

Cloud stopped to think, and then lightly thumped Roxas on the back of the head for swearing and said, "You have a point there,"

The questionnaire continued in a general manner before Cloud finally left to go pick up Chinese food from a restaurant five blocks away, as they didn't do deliver and the boys had had it with eating Hawaiian pizza day in and day out. He grumbled something about the agency not letting him have a car so that Roxas and Sora wouldn't nick it for any occasion and walked out into the warm afternoon sunlight.

"Sooooo. I got another question 'bout your real past." Sora said, turning to Roxas who had sat down on the now cozy loveseat the moment Cloud got up. Much to Cloud's general displeasure.

"Mmmhmm," Roxas replied in a bored tone, eyes closing lightly.

"Uuuuh… what was it like to have boobs?" Sora asked. Somehow during the course of the week, Sora had garbled out of Roxas about him originally being a girl. And though Sora still treated him like a guy, he wouldn't stop asking stupid questions, though they stayed in a similar category. What did you find attractive in guys. What was it like to pee sitting down. Do you prefer being a girl or a guy. That kind of thing.

Roxas thought about it. "Annoying," he said to Sora's amazement.

"What? But boobs are good things!" Sora sounded out. Though Roxas already knew this was only half true for Sora and his bisexualness. Lucky for him Roxas and Cloud weren't phobic in any way.

"Yah, for you guys maybe. For girls, they have to wear a bra and those things itch. And most of the girls either feel that their boobs are too small or too big. And guys gawk at them which make the poor things even more self-conscious. Honestly Sora, it's much easier being a guy,"

Sora looked like he wanted to ask another question. "Waaaat?" Roxas asked tiredly.

"Well… um… since you're a guy now, are you gonna be lesbian for girls or gay for guys? Either way it'll be weird for you since you said you were straight before, right?" Sora squeaked out, making Roxas' breath freeze in his chest.

In truth he hadn't thought about this, he thought it would be easy to be a guy, but Sora had mentioned that boys sometimes shunned homosexuals and stereotyped them. Roxas thought about how hard it would be pretending to like girls and he would probably be treated as a ladies man for his slight understanding of them. Though, Roxas had been a tomboy when he was a girl so his knowledge of their minds was also limited.

"Hellllllooooooo?" Sora said, leaning forward and waving a hand in front of Roxas' face. Roxas' eyes refocused on Sora and he frowned in annoyance.

"I-" Roxas' paused, scratching his forehead in thought.

"Yeeeees? I will like which gender?" Sora pressed, becoming irritated at the lack of answers coming from Roxas.

"I'll be a gay guy then, how 'bout that?" Roxas said, eyes shining in delight as he finally came up with an answer.

Sora nodded vaguely, knowing Roxas didn't want the subject to carry on in this direction. Though internally, the hyper brunette was wondering if they'd be treated differently as a family of not straight people. _I mean_, Sora thought to himself, _I'm bi, Roxy's gay and Cloud is a twenty something year old virgin and hasn't even been on a date before, I'm sure there is something bad about that in some eyes_.

"Hey Rox? Hows about we get our rooms refurbished? Cloud won't be back for a bit and we might as well create personalities for ourselves. I'd flag you as one of those guys who's antisocial and wears really cool emo clothes and has band posters covering his walls in his room. Am I right?" Sora stared hopefully at the silent Roxas, his pleading eyes willing his counterpart to speak.

"Maybe. I don't know yet, to be honest. But my guess for you is the kind of hyper guy everyone becomes friends with easily. The type of guy who wears bright clothes," Roxas looked down at Sora's yellow shorts and sky blue t-shirt for confirmation, "and buys anime and stuff like that. How true was that?"

Sora huffed and folded his arms. "To the point."

Roxas put on a look of faux shock, then stood up and walked upstairs with Sora shuffling slowly behind him. Firstly, they stopped at the master bedroom. Cloud's room. It was the nicest room in the house and it had to be given to the guy who only went in there to sleep. It was big and spacious with five caramel green walls that spread evenly until reaching the giant window that faced north, getting a warming sun still as it slowly went down the horizon on the edge of the left-hand side of the window.

_When I get my guitar back I'm gonna practice in this room regardless of whether Cloud lets me or not_, Roxas thought as he quietly turned his head and carried on walking down the hall. They passed the already slightly messy upstairs bathroom and the small door that Cloud had said was a broom closet but, upon further investigation, was a room that contained the many little TV's that proved there were hidden cameras in the house, but the camera's only monitored windows and the doors leading outside. At least the agency respected the boys' privacy.

Next was Sora's room. It was slightly smaller than Roxas' room and got only the morning sun. The walls were a light blue and the view of outside was of someone's beautifully kept garden. The closet was one of those step-in ones and was big enough for Sora's many items of clothing.

"I got an idea for your room…" Roxas said more to himself than to Sora, turning out and walking down the hall to his room on the end, which was pretty much the front of the house but upstairs.

When he went inside, Roxas moved straight to his desk by the window, opening the drawers and searching through the many papers found in there. Sora lingered by the door and looked at the spacious but otherwise uninteresting room in delight. The walls were painted a bluish creamy grey and it caught all of the afternoon light head on, squishing together all of the colors with the orange glow.

Roxas made an 'uh huh!' noise and drew Sora's attention back to him. He held up a quick sketch he'd made during the week. It was an island facing the water with a star fruit covered tree in the middle. A perfect reminisce of Sora's old home done through vague description only.

Sora gaped at his ten minutes younger twin brother. "Whoa! You're an awesome artist!" Roxas _almost_ blushed, "Can you help me paint it onto one of my walls, so I can look at it while I'm in bed?"

Roxas nodded and went to get his paints, pushing his still ungelled and becoming particularly annoying hair back while balancing paints on his arms. Sora ran over to grab some of the almost toppled over ones and walked with Roxas back to his room.

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Roxas spent the next ten minutes sketching the outline with chalk on the wall that would be facing Sora's bed just as soon as he moved it to the right place.

By that point Cloud had come home with the food and was about to threaten the boys when they raced downstairs, gobbled up the food, said their thanks and ran back up. Cloud sighed and smiled. Shouting one of those sweet big brother 'sure I care about you but I'm gonna kill whoever hurls up on the carpet' warnings.

Cloud sat and read a random magazine in silence, until he realized there actually was silence in the house, meaning one of the boys was doing something that could get him in trouble. Yes he knew Roxas was originally a girl, but now he was a guy so Cloud was to treat him as an annoying little brat of a brother.

"If you two are doing something illegal, make sure it's well hidden by the time I get up there or else there'll be hell to pay," Cloud shouted, getting up and walking slowly up the stairs. It was true that Cloud threatened the boys a bit too often, but he cared about them enough that other things he did for them (like making sure they ate, slept, went to school (when they start going to school that is), and didn't get attacked by people who hated the boys old parents) certainly made up for that. Not to mention the fact that the threats were hardly ever carried out unless the boys safety was involved, like earlier in the week during the incident of Sora, a can of coke given to him by Roxas, their now broken microwave, and a toy car. Enough said.

He found them in Sora's room, painting the coolest painting of a beach-like island Cloud had ever seen. Roxas' stats had said something about his ability to do all things artsy, a useful feature for some.

Instantly Sora jumped up and ran to Cloud.

"Look at it Cloud! Isn't it coolio?" Sora asked, jumping up and down in excitement. Cloud just looked at Roxas' work, before smiling lightly and turning back out the door.

"I think he likes it too," Sora whispered, as if Clouds presence was still there. Roxas returned to painting the last of the details while Sora lay on his bed, thinking about anything he could come up with.

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Roxas finished twenty minutes later and started to clean up all of the newspaper that had been carefully placed so as to avoid paint dripping on things. He told Sora to _not_ touch it under _any_ circumstances and walked out. Sora followed him to his room and watched him pack his stuff away and put on some shoes.

Sora understood what was happening and went to get his own sandals; he was at the door before Roxas was.

"And where are you two going at such an ungodly hour of the evening?" Cloud looked up from the television at the boys, before checking the time on his watch. Ten past eight. Roxas shoved his hands into the pockets of his baggy yet form fitting jeans and leaned on the kitchen counter, half expecting to get yelled at.

"Grocery store. Why? Where d'ya expect us to be going?" he smirked at Clouds expression.

Cloud stood up, put on his conveniently placed shoes and walked up to them. "I'll come," he said valiantly, "there's about a gazillion more things we still need to have a proper house and you two don't have any school supplies. Now I'm not sure about you Roxas, but Sora and I've been living together for over a month and the last time I sent him on errands he ended up going to a Tenacious D concert instead of the bakery. He's lost my faith in him getting the right things," Sora looked down uncomfortably.

Roxas smirked at his twin and opened the door.

"Whatever," he said tiredly, not really interested who was coming unless it meant his gel was free.

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The grocery store was only a ten minute walk away so they got there without much incident. The store itself was really more of an everything store and had the gel Roxas wanted, plus enough food (and the much needed coffee) to last a week. Right next to the grocery store was a stationary store (plus the rest of the town strip) so Roxas and Sora went in to get some things. Sora started acting like the goofball he was so Roxas moved away from him and stood in an aisle at the back of the store, looking at the journals he couldn't afford on his meager expenses, which here means 'just the money Cloud gave him for pens and books and stuff'.

"This one would suit you best," a voice said from Roxas' left. Roxas turned to see a bluish grey haired boy about a year maybe two older than him. He had a midnight blue colored eye (yes eye, his hair was styled over his right eye, so only his left was visible) and was holding out a violet grey journal with the words of an anonymous poem on it. Roxas took it and read the poem.

"_Walking this road_

_Without you_

_To remake forgotten promises and meet you at Roads End."_

"_Faded memories_

_Reconstructed memories_

_A dream- a dream of you_

_In a world without you."_

"_The dream I see in the world without you_

_Torn dream. Like a memory from the far past_

_I'd like to put it together_

_With you…"_

Roxas looked up at the expressionless boy in front of him and said, "This is really good and all, but I'm low on cash so I gotta get my twin to he-" he paused when he saw that Sora had fallen asleep and was leaning against the shelf that a young store clerk was desperately trying to keep upright.

Roxas shook his head, "never mind, I doubt I'll get him to even wake up at this moment in time." He sighed in exasperation, making his new friend laugh.

"A ball of energy. I'm Zexion. You're new to town, right." Zexion looked at Roxas with his eye as if he was analyzing him.

"Ditto, Señor Mind Reader," Zexion _almost_ partly half-smiled (just goes to show you how stoic he really was), "I'm Roxas. And yep, me, Sora over there and our big brother, Cloud, just moved here a week ago, startin' school tomorrow and everything," Roxas sighed, though really he was thrilled to see how good of a guy he could be. Of course he couldn't tell Zexion that.

"Where did you move from?" Zexion asked. It seemed the older male knew something was fishy- or girly- about Roxas.

"The spazzier part of Twilight Town. The weather here is so different, I'm still not used to this climate," Roxas looked down at his long-sleeved black shirt with the designs of a dragon surrounded by a thorny shrub done in white and pale blue and his dark jeans in dismay. Though Zexion was wearing all long-sleeved black as well. And chains too, Roxas noted.

"Twilight Town is used to hotter temperatures?" Zexion asked, though he probably already knew the answer.

"Uh… yeah. Well at least here in Hollow Bastion there doesn't seem to be any grease joints, I hate those places," Roxas looked back over at where Sora was sleeping only to find he'd gotten up again. To Zexion's confusion, Roxas started looking around the store again.

"Yes. Well I believe I should be going now. If you end up coming to my school then I may see you there. Otherwise, so lo-"

"ROXY!!!!!!" Sora jumped on Roxas' back and chatted away at a hundred miles and hour. By the time Roxas had gotten the over hyped fifteen year old back under control, Zexion had already left.

"Hey Sor?" Sora giggled at the nickname (though in reality, Roxas had only said it 'cause he ran out of breath) and nodded, "Can you help me pay for this with your leftover cash? I'll pay you back and everything it's just that I _really_ want this journal," Sora looked at the violet journal then grabbed it out of Roxas' hands, claiming that, as big brother, he had to pay for this important idea storer.

Roxas followed him out the door and sighed wistfully, glad and disappointed to have a twin as weird as Sora.

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Roxas and Sora stood side-by-side just outside of the dull grey and brick building of Hollow Bastion's local high school. Out of all of the places in Hollow Bastion they could've gone to, the agency just had to send them to the cheapest one around.

Roxas wiped his right hand (as his left was currently holding an awesome skateboard he'd gotten from his 'parents') on his loose grey jeans and shuffled nervously.

Sora noticed his replica's actions and looked at Roxas curiously.

"I've never been to a co-ed school before, only 'all girl' ones. What if I don't act manly enough and I get flagged as a lunatic or something?" Sora laughed to his twin's annoyance.

"Well you knew it was coming, you couldn't go to an all girls' school if you're a guy. Plus there aren't any guy only ones around here, so buckle it in and have a good day," Sora grinned at Roxas and walked ahead of him, into the school grounds.

Roxas pulled out his schedule, knowing that it looked dorky if you checked it while in school.

It was a weird timetable that had different lessons for different days. For his Monday schedule it said that his first class was 'Peer Food Tech'. _Huh? _Roxas thought back to Cloud explaining each of his more confusing subjects while making mini muffins _and _scrubbing the floor with brushes attached to his shoes.

_Stupid multitasking ability… mmmmmm those mini muffins were nice though. Wait! What did he say about this subject? _Roxas thought hard and then remembered that some of his subjects, including food tech, art and sometimes physical ed. had involved the juniors (only a year older than Roxas and his would soon be classmates) helping out as part of their course work.

In Roxas language it meant, the 11th graders were bossing the sophomores around during all the lessons that said 'peer' in them. _Peachy…_ Roxas thought in disdain as he pulled his backpack further up his shoulder and walked into the school grounds.

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By the time Axel had found Demyx, the 'too high to be in school' mohawk/mullet'd blonde was sitting on the budget price carpet in the middle of the second story hall, shirtless (Axel had found it along the way) and singing David Bowie's 'John, I'm only dancing' (and somehow managing to make it sound beautiful).

Demyx had developed a crowd of overseers and someone even had the nerve to throw a few coins at him.

"Alrighty then! The singing, hobo blonde is going away now!" Axel shouted, picking Demyx up and carrying him into the guys' bathroom. Demyx giggled at the sight of Axel, a majorly underweight teenager, trying to carry himself (not to mention his beloved sitar) around everywhere, like a chauffeur.

Axel, having kicked opened the bathroom door with his boot, accidentally knocked the sitar case against the door, which caused Demyx to immediately sober up and scold him.

"At least I have the courtesy to thank people when they save my non-existent dignity." Axel panted. He wasn't built for endurance, though skipping out on physical education and forgetting to eat most of the time might've had something to do with it.

Demyx grunted as he pulled his blue shirt back over his toned figure. Axel sighed and grabbed a bottle of caffeine filled energy drink out of his messenger bag.

"You look like you could use a swig," he said, passing his blonde friend the bottle and leaning against one of the white now grey sinks.

As soon as Demyx went back up to his usual (less than before but still frenzied) state of manicness, he started rambling about how annoying Mr. Saix was for giving him a stupid lunar test for his Astrology lesson first thing in the morning. _Why'd the sod even decide to take Astrology? Just because it's an unusual subject to learn and sounded easy doesn't mean that an hour with Saix is anything short of unentertaining_, Axel thought as he pulled out his mp3 and pulling the large headphones around his neck for when class started. Getting bored, Axel fidgeted with something in his pocketand pulled it out to find his treasured silver lighter (with his name engraved in the side no less).

"So what do you have first?" Demyx asked, stealing the lighter the redhead was still playing with and lighting a cig. Axel glimpsed the laminated card he'd stuck to his bag and groaned, "Peer food tech," he told the blonde before an idea came to him. His strong green eyes lit up mischievously as his long, pale fingers tapped the sink in delight.

"The last little squirt, whats-her-face?" he looked at Demyx, who thought about it before replying, "Selphie?" Axel nodded, "Yeah her. Well she left the school with only a minimal thanks to me,"

Demyx looked wryly at him, "did she decide to leave before or after you melted her metal ruler to her book and unquestionably thought you needed to prove to her that you were a natural red?" Axel considered this, "I think afterwards." Demyx laughed.

He rubbed his hands together as he heard the bell ring. _Oh yes_, Axel thought evilly, _whoever is unfortunate enough to get me as a partner, you're gonna suffer through hell_.

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A first chapter that hardly leads anywhere? Oh well…

At least one happy review and I'll update it, so have fun!

I'll introduce to my two little friends… Dedications and Mentions!

Dedications is someone/something that either helped me out for this chapter or reviewed something particularly nice last chappie I had on here.

Mentions are things I put in here that I technically don't own. Characters, songs (other than chapter beginning one), ideas, never quotes as I hope you can guess they aren't mine. Basically things that could get me sued if it weren't for me using fanfiction. So HA!

Dedications as no one reviewed last chapter (well duh! This is the first one) I'd say dedications go out to my bottle of grapefruit flavoured Frank! I wouldn't have survived until three in the morning without it.

Mentions let's see. Mission Impossible ain't mine. Neither are the sciency guys with blue gloves (they're from the series 'Firefly). Don't know who created the 'a minor detail' pose, but it wasn't me. The term 'personal bubble' came from my good (six ft tall! Big compared to my shortness) friend. Tubed gel is not mine. That poem is from… _somewhere_. Of course the tree isn't mine. If you didn't guess before, 'John, I'm only dancing' is an annoying song from David Bowie. Axel's silver lighter is based off of many lighters people have come up with put together, with my own ideas matched in there too. Peer food tech is something from one of my 'out of country' friends. And, obviously, all the characters mentioned are not mine and belong to many others, but not me.

Ciao!

Ж -gasps- it's a stilled dancing spider!

Roxas-Has-A-Stick (and he's not afraid to use it)


	2. Of perverts and weirdos

Welcome back!

I forgot to go through the last chapter and clear up all the mess my computer had made of it

[sighs deeply

But! I got a whole three reviews in one (of my, probably not one for you) night! so I'm hyper on strawberry lollies right now.

Down to business. Thank you for reviewing my dearest 'Kitty Lurv', 'Arndis' and 'Roxastheguineapig'. You three made my day completely.

I realised something while glorifying myself. I didn't make much sense when I talked about Roxas' new 'family'. Basically, Roxas, Sora and Cloud are not really related. Roxas and Sora are the children of random rich spies (they didn't know eachother until they became siblings) who had learned that their kids could be murdered by people unless they were hidden. Cloud is part of the protection agency who are meant to pretend to be older siblings of the kids who are in danger and protect them from said danger. With me so far? Didn't think so.

Roxas _was _originally a girl. But her parents had made her have a sex change so as to double her protection. She and Sora had been altered so that they resembled eachother enough to pass off as twins, with an older brother (Cloud) and made up parents/life/everything else important so that they wouldn't be found.

If that didn't make sense, just say so!

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Title+

_4 Years you think for sure, that's all you've got to endure all the Total Dicks, all the Stuck-up Chicks. So superficial, so immature._

Roxas had not only found his first class straight away (with thanks to a perky blonde girl who'd pointed out the general direction of the foods room) but had also managed to go inside it before the bell even rang.

He walked up to the teacher at the front desk/table/food bench thingy and waited for her to stop fussing with her yellow apron. _Wow, her boobs are big_, was the first thing that popped into Roxas' head. This was just a statement and not a pervy comment as Roxas was once a straight girl and was now a gay guy, which left no room for attractiveness to girls, even if they _did_ had big chests.

"Uuuum… Miss…" Roxas paused as he noticed that the woman did not have a name tag or a shiny gold plaque of which her name would be pronounced on.

"Oh!" she said as she looked up, she shuffled through a pile of the kind of papers that were designed to be shoved to the side of ones desk and pinned her name tag to her apron.

"I don't recognize you. I guess that means you're Roxas," Roxas nodded and the teacher smiled warmly, "I'm Miss Lockheart. Gosh, for a new student you're awfully early. Well, this class runs on a select schedule so you're gonna have to get used to one spot and one person. Not the best class for mass socializing but at least you'll get the sun in the mornings from where you're sitting."

Miss Lockheart spent the next five minutes pointing out what and where everything was. Including his seat and the different pieces of equipment he'd be using.

When the bell rang, Roxas was prepared for the staring matches that he'd undoubtedly receive from the other students, as, for some reason, people like picking on the new guy just to find out what they're like.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Axel finally made it to his first class, headphones deafening out the noise of an angry yet attractive teacher and making him lose focus on the faces of other unimportant kids in the class.

_Damn this day is gonna be a long one, I might ditch second period and just head off home. Isn't there supposed to be that Mythbusters marathon on today? Wonder if they're gonna test that fire theory… _was the thought pattern going through Axel's mind as he ignored his teacher completely and trundled over to the empty seat next to a blonde kid by the window.

Peer food tech had been one of Axel's many devious escapes from doing sports, but it also meant he had to listen to a little brat whine _and_ he couldn't choose which little whiney brat he preferred out of all of the whiney little brats. They were specifically assigned to him in a way that baffled even the nerdiest of teens, much less Axel, who was smart enough, just lazy.

He sat down on his seat and waited patiently for the teacher to clap her hands twice, which was a habit of hers that only occurred when everyone could stand up and start the cooking.

She clapped and around him and his blonde companion, everyone moved and started getting together their ingredients.

An annoying poking in his shoulder caused him to look over at his partner and properly stare at him for the first time.

Axel pulled off his headphones and turned off his mp3 while still staring at the blonde kid. He had big, cerulean eyes and a childish face, which made him look kind of stupid in his scuffed grey jeans and dusty long sleeved crimson and grey shirt (what are the ones that look like a tee shirt on top of a long sleeved shirt but is really one long sleeved shirt called again?).

"Since when has Hollow Bastion had such a cute little thing in its crap school?" Axel asked, wrapping an arm around the blonde's waist and pulling him into his side. The boy elbowed his redheaded partner in anger. He didn't like people that were this up themselves. To Axels deep sadness, he didn't even make the blonde blush.

"Uuuuh… perhaps since I moved a week ago. Now can you _please_ help me, we need to get all of the stuff on this list," the blonde waved a piece of paper around, "otherwise we're never gonna make a calzone in time," Axel stood up, purposely showing the blonde that he had at least eleven inches on the younger boy.

"Whatever you say hotstuff," he said as he casually laid an arm around the blondes shoulders, trying unsuccessfully to make the boy embarrassed.

_Never mind skipping next period, I must stay here and make it known to everyone that this is MY little blonde sex kitten._

OoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Roxas was in one of his moods (the kind girls get when they've been bugged continually for the past three hours) and Sora had a feeling he knew why.

At lunch (During Roxas' fourth period. This scheme is one where you have six periods a day and one of them is a lunch one, but they rotate on different days so you don't always have lunch with your friends, but first day back is an exception and everyone has lunch at the same time), when the blonde had finally met up with his brother, a tall red haired boy had been holding him around the waist and rubbing his bony cheek on the top of his captives head. The first thing Roxas had told his twin was that, if he had killed himself by the end of the day, not to let Cloud have his skateboard.

His redheaded stalker had paid no heed to the blonde's spite and had held out the hand that wasn't clutching the poor boy to him for Sora to shake.

"I'm guessing you're Roxy's twin, you look the same at least." ("Don't call me 'Roxy' you psychotic cream puff!") "I'm Axel. Got it memorized?" Sora grinned in the way Roxas had found meant he wanted to be friends with the receiver of the grin (it was the grin he used on everybody by the way) and sat down at the table he and the silver haired boy next to him had scored.

"You know, Axel, the way you just said that made you sound like you were meeting a girls mom for the first time and you wanted to be corny. 'Oh hi! You must be Sarah's twin! No? really?! You're her mother? But you are so young'," the boy, Riku as Sora had called him, said with a smirk- apparently him and Axel were good friends.

"Keep talking pretty boy." Ooookay… apparently not. "You're just jealous coz' I found myself a cute blondie friend and you're not even out of the closet with your folks yet," Axel retorted as he protectively hugged Roxas (and the chocolate milk Roxas had been sipping) into his chest.

Roxas nudged him in the side with his elbow and glared (more like pouted) at the redhead.

"Would'ya stop that! Can't you go a minute without grabbing me into a death grip? Plus, I'm not yours. In fact, I don't belong to anyone and if it wasn't for the fact that I fear the hollow bang would bring the teachers over, I would hit you with my skateboard right now!" Roxas, out of the corner of his eye, saw Sora pull his skateboard further away from the blonde and he sighed in defeat.

Axel slumped onto the table and stared at the blondes watch (as he had set his own on fire a few months earlier, of course only Riku and Demyx knew this), only moving to push his lunch towards Riku (who sat opposite him at the rectangular table) when the lunar haired boy had asked if he was going to eat his food.

"Sooooo… is there anyone in this school who _isn't_ gay or bi?" Sora asked after about five seconds of awkward silence, "Coz' so far I can't figure out the girls and the only guys I've met are about as straight as coat hangers,"

Riku grinned at the brunet and replied, "Yeah, sure, only three percent of the population here aren't straight, you two are just unlucky enough to know only people from that three percent." He looked at the twins, "Wait. Does that mean you two are gay?" both he and Axel perked up a bit at this, though the redhead remained silently watching Roxas'… well, watch.

"Well I'm not so sure yet and Roxy," Roxas visibly winced at the nickname, "is gay but antisocial, so his sexuality means nothing and probably won't be acknowledged until a later date," Sora had no qualms about telling the two older boys about his sexuality after only knowing them for a day.

Roxas munched on his homemade pizza (courtesy of Cloud) and looked around the cafeteria. The groups had been pretty much sorted out and easy to distinguish. In the middle were all of the jocks with cheerleaders or at least girls with big boobs sitting in their laps, closest to the lunch line were foreign exchange students, who were happily chatting amongst themselves in other languages. In the corner were the emos, loners and rejects. Everywhere else sat people who didn't fit into the categories, such as Roxas and his new 'friends'. The nerds were nowhere to be seen, possibly hiding in class rooms or the library.

Leaning against a wall he saw a lilac/blue/some other yet to be identified grey colored hair that caught Roxas' attention from across the room. He checked again to see Zexion with sandwich in one hand, ipod in the other.

"Roooooooooxy!?" an annoying voiced screeched in his ear. Roxas grimaced and didn't turn around until his name was properly called, _I'm trying to not get the term 'Roxy' to become a habit here, _he turned to see Axel looking up at him as if the really tall boy was trying to look cute and innocent. Fortunately (and unfortunately) tall people can not look cute and innocent and, in the flame haired boy's case, only works in making them look ridiculous.

"Waaaaat?" Roxas said, staring and the redheads face and noticing two upside down kite shaped blackish-blue-green (_god, I'm having trouble figuring out colors today?_ Roxas mused) tattoos under each eye. Or maybe it was all make up and Axel had forgotten to take it off? Roxas made a mental note to ask.

"Well, it's been over a minute so can I hug you again?" the older boy asked, tapping his wrist where his watch would've been with a slender finger. _Yeah, I know where my watch is, doofus_, Roxas thought grumpily, _where the fuck is yours?_

Sora snorted and clamped a hand over his mouth and nose to forbid more noise from escaping and even Riku was chuckling lightly.

Roxas almost growled, but refrained and scraped his chair further away from his stalker, only to have Axel follow him with his own chair.

"Ugh… fine…" Axel didn't need to be told twice. He jumped at the blonde and squished him into another vice grip type hug. _What pitiful thing did I do as a girl that made someone up there hate me?_ Roxas asked himself in sorrow.

"Roxy sin-"

"Call me that one more time and I'll pay for that Kairi girl from math class to help me castrate you with rusty thumb tacks! Got it?" Axel winced and loosened one hand from its hold on the younger twins shoulder in favor of protecting his lower region from angry blonde boys and well paid red haired girls with rusty thumb tacks.

"riiiiiiight… I gotcha!" the redhead replied as coolly as possible, hand still safeguarding his crotch.

And why was the older boy in the same math class, do you ask? Well it's quite simple really. Axel sucks at math, and his suckiness at the subject (subject_S _actually, he only just managed to get into 11th grade by fluke) had meant he had to learn in the class _below _almost all of his other friends.

"Well anyways… do you wanna meet all of my other friends? I'm sure they'd be happy to know you!" Axel smiled dorkily. _Gee, he's really pulling out all the stops this time, _Riku thought in amusement, _and all of this just to get into little blondie's virgin pants_.

"No," the moodier twin replied. Axel's face fell.

The brunet, who had enveloped himself in a deep conversation with Riku, seemed to have sensed a disturbance on the other side of the lunch table and had immediately turned to Axel and said as way of sympathy, "I want to meet your friends Axel!"

Riku was internally laughing his ass off. _He nailed it! Too bad his method was aimed at the wrong one! He should've known better though. If you want to use that tactic, make sure the victim will react in the way you hoped. _

"See Roxy… Roxas! I meant Roxas! Even Sora wants to see them. And I'm sure Riku agrees," Axel looked over at Riku, sending him a look that just screamed 'if you don't go with Sora my friends might do some inhumane things to him'.

"Um… yes," Riku answered, not really sure of what to say.

Roxas grouched for a few minutes, though no one could quite catch what he was saying. When all hope seemed lost Sora stepped in to Axel's rescue and Roxas' undoubtedly doom. The older twin tossed a piece of paper at Roxas' head and the blonde glanced at it, noticing words that read something that horrified him. The blonde's face paled so that it was a similar shade to Riku's.

"I'll go!" he stood up quickly, pulling a confused tattooed boy up with him. Axel punched the air in delight as Roxas dragged him off, not bothering to wait for their other table partners who had no intention of following the odd couple (AN- I can almost hear Roxas protesting in the background).

Riku leant forward and picked up the paper. Reading it before turning back to the devil child who sat eating a slice of sugar free banana cake happily.

"You are very scary when you have all control, Sora,"

Sora giggled and muttered with a warm yet sad smile, "It's what I've been brought up to do after all,"

Riku didn't understand a word the brunet was saying, so he opted to stare at the paper again, rereading the words thoughtfully. Noticing several spelling errors in the message.

_Do wat Axel says_

_Since betwen Cloud & I_

_We no about 100 diferent _

_Ways to make your life hell until_

_Your a old man._

_Sora_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Axel had gotten over his initial shock and was now settling with dragging Roxas through the crowds of kids in the cafeteria and over to a table that had a certain 'keep away from us, we're weird' aura about it.

Roxas looked at all of the faces around the table and decided that Axel was picking his friends only for their weirdness and unique hairstyles and/or hair color.

The first boy to notice the approaching figures was a semi tall (tall but not as tall as Axel, more of a natural kind of tall) blonde with murky ocean colored eyes and a hairstyle that had died out in the 80s.

"Hey Ax-man! Thanks for the caffeine earlier, I would've been high all morning and probably suspended again otherwise… Oh wait a second! Who's the cute blonde standing behind you?" at the mention of a 'cute blonde' on the premises, the other three people at the table had looked up from whatever they had been doing and instead stared at Roxas, who felt a wave of girly self-consciousness wash over him.

"Yo Demy. This is Roxas, and he's _mine_," Roxas growled in apparent disagreement, though Axel continued regardless of the blonde opinion, "so don't even _think_ about trying to jump him," Axel joked, though his green eyes gave away the slightest hint that the threat was true.

"Awww! You're no fun Axie-poo," the older blonde said, jumping up from his seat and circling Roxas critically, "though you definitely pick well. Roxy here looks like he'd be one hell of a hot ride. Hiya! I'm Demyx," Demyx addressed Roxas properly for the first time.

Roxas smile sweetly, still blushing slightly with thanks to the older males talk about him, "Hi, I'm Roxas. And if you ever call me 'Roxy' again, I'll suspend you upside down from the top of a thirteen storey building and feed you garlic flavored gummi bears, this being _after_ I pull out your spleen by inserting a hook into your right ear and hoping I get it out the first time while you're still conscious."

Demyx jumped back in horror and muttered something about a "vivid imagination in the little ones these days". A blonde girl with gelled back blonde hair cackled madly.

"I think I just fell in love with this kid." She gave Roxas a two fingered salute, carefully making sure she didn't press down one of her spiked out cockroach stylized strips of hair sticking out of the top of her head.

"I'm Larxene and if you ever need any help proving your threats aren't bluffs, phone me up. I could use a mind as gruesome as yours," Roxas had no doubt she was telling the truth. He shivered violently.

A pink haired man leant forward at this moment and pulled Larxene back into him by her hips. She did the sadist equivalent of a giggle.

"Hello blushing little blossom. My name is Marluxia, and I don't think I've seen you around here before. Are… you… a… freshy?" Larxene had started playing with the man's hair and, by the end of his speech, he looked like he wanted to ravish her 'til dawn the next day.

Roxas frowned slightly "Uh, no I'm a sophomore, I'm just new. This is my first day at school here. I've only been in this city for bit over a week and I don't think I've met many people aside from a random emo guy in a stationary shop." Roxas replied, whacking Axel's straying hand at one point.

Demyx grinned deviously at that, slinking back over to Roxas other side, so that the short blonde was squished in between the two tall men.

"So little wee blondie _isn't_ yours then! You haven't fucked him yet –unless that's why you didn't flunk math with me and Larx- so technically he's up for grabs!" the way Demyx said that without batting an eyelid made Roxas cringe and force his way out from between them.

"I don't plan on 'fucking' anyone actually. Please refrain from these fantasies and, if you must, go take cold showers or jack off on your lonesome's as I don't want any part of this."

He pivoted on one foot and walked away. But not without nodding to the other, much quieter man amongst the friends, who had nodded his platinum blond head in return, scratched his clipped beard and gone back to his card game against what appeared to be a woolen sock puppet (and he was losing this particular game at that!).

Roxas paused at his old table to pick up his stuff and noticed, with much curiosity and imagination, Sora and Riku weren't there.

He turned around in time to see Axel heading towards him, possibly to apologize and the try to molest him some more. With this in mind, Roxas hightailed it outta there. Only to find that the longer legged redhead was still managing to catch up to him.

Suddenly a hand shot out and pulled him into a neighboring (empty) classroom. The door was shut and the lanky silhouette that was Axel walked past.

Roxas looked up to find a highly entertained Zexion standing next to him.

"I guess you did end up coming to my school then," the yet to be identified haired boy said as Roxas sat at one of the desks and smiled in relief.

"Zexion, did I mention you are the hero of the day for saving me from two gay, seemingly sex deprived but quite possibly the exact opposite teenagers?" Zexion looked blankly at the shorter boy.

"Demyx and Axel. Well known for acting gay, using drugs excessively and reeking havoc about the school. You should be careful around them, especially Demyx," Roxas looked up. "What? I would've thought you'd say especially Axel, what makes Demyx so much worse?"

Zexion looked at him in sympathy, "Demyx has a violent fan club and a jealous boyfriend. Axel just has his dangerous personality. I'd personally pick Demyx above Axel though, but that's because I like him better as a person," Zexion's eyes glazed over in what appeared to be lust, before going back to their normal emotionless look.

Roxas decided at this moment that there definitely was someone out to get him. And that someone was going to be the death of him.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoO

When Axel walked back to the table empty-handed, they had all looked at him with a small trace of sadness in their eyes. Particularly in Demyx's, as he was somewhat responsible for Axel's toy disappearing on him.

"Hey I'm sorry man. I wasn't expecting him to react that way," he said, trying to lighten the mood.

Larxene scoffed from her place in Marluxia's lap, "Oh _no_," she said sarcastically, sitting up and glaring at Demyx, "of course you wouldn't expect a kid to run away when two men are arguing which of them was going to steal his virginity away, especially when the men are both older, taller, and much more stronger than said boy. You do know he's like, what, _fifteen_. You'd be sent to the slammer for rape of an underage boy, you dorks!" she was almost foaming at the mouth.

Only close friends of Larxene knew that she was the bastard child of a Japanese rapist and a fourteen year old French girl (of whom had died giving birth as it was too much strain on her small body) and knew from her Aunt what it was like to be young and attacked by sleazy old men.

"I get it Larx. We're horny old guys after a bit of fun time with a little blonde kid. But that wouldn't explain him vanishing off the face of this planet, would it?" asked a depressed Axel, whom had slunked down onto a seat with his head on Demyx's lap.

"Um, Axel? What were you on before? Coz' your nose is all red and you're coming down hard and fast," Demyx said soothingly.

It was true, everyone on that table were doing some form of drugs or another. That and the all black clothes, caused many kids to be afraid of them, and also gave way for rumors to come about.

"Just crack right now. Same as I always get," the redhead replied quietly, urging his happiness to come back to him without him snorting something in a school cafeteria.

"Hmmm. You're using cheap stuff, aren't you?" Luxord spoke for the first time that day; he had a habit of hardly ever talking thanks to years of bullshit said about his strong English accent.

"Yeah, I can't afford anything else. In fact I need to get some more money from Mansex today… Dem! Don't give me that look, I've had to screw him before for money, it's not too bad," Axel forced out a week smile as he got up and stretched, his shirt riding up a bit at the front.

Demyx noticed the revealed skin and bones and looked at his best friend in shock.

"Dude! When was the last time you ate something?! I could play 'we wish you a merry xmas' on those ribs of yours!" and Demyx probably could, as he was well known for his musical expertise. Axel scoffed, before blanking out to think.

"Uuuuuh… maybe four days ago… five? I don't know, but I ran out of that ice cream you put in my freezer a bit back, and I couldn't be bothered getting some more…" Axel ignored his friends' looks and pulled out a small white bag from his pocket, spilling a bit of the stuff onto the table.

Pulling out a straw, he leant forward and stuck the straw slightly into his nose, carefully making sure his poor, sensitive nose didn't bleed, and sniffed in as hard as he could, soaking up all the powder in one sweep.

"Axel, be careful not to get caught. Most stuff you can get away with for your parents won't know, but drugs will get you in jail most like," Marluxia said quietly, tapping a tune onto Larxene's thigh at the same time. The blonde girl grinned and looked at her boyfriend.

"Fallout Boy? That's the lamest piece of mainstream crap I've ever felt you drum," Marluxia blushed lightly and stopped tapping.

Axel ignored his friends worried looks, they weren't really worried about him, just they'd be traced through him if he got caught.

"Well, I'm gonna keep searching for my little sex kitten. Hopefully he'll think I've given up and come out of hiding." He turned around and left the cafeteria feeling the drugs starting to kick in again.

_Grrrrrr… I've actually got P.ed next, damn school and it's damn rules._

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AXEL! Drugs are bad for you! Don't snort them!

I feel sorry for putting Roxas in amongst creepy perverts, but the plotline called for it. And Fallout boy? really Marly? I would've thought you were above mainstream crap (sorry for offending all you fallout boy fans[gets hit by flying soccor ball ouchie!)

Okay so this one goes out to my three reviewers, particularily Kitty Lurv who, as far as I can tell, was the first to review. No one go my music lyrics though. sighs oh well, maybe this one'll be easier.

Mentions the thing Tifa talked about where usually new students get in later than everyone else, well one time I got in early (stupid alarm clock waking me up early) and my teacher said the exact same thing to me, so it's his thing really. One of my teachers claps twice when she wants us to get out our stuff, so yuppo. Me no own the two shirts in one or the mythical calzone (eww I shiver in fear). How the schedule works is based off my own one. Every threat Roxy dearest utters is my own, but are free for the taking. All other food mentioned in the story ain't mine. Fallout boy is not mine. Neither is Luxords sock puppet. And, obviously, all characters belong to their rightful owner(s), so don't sue me for nicking 'em.

So review, _review_,_ REVIEW! _I love getting them and will give my happy love to everyone who does!

Ciao!


	3. Of sports, and rich pink heads

Howdy!

Sorry my darlings, I won't be able to update every single day from now on, I'm on a tight leash (grounded for six weeks, no phone, no internet after eight thirty for a week, two and a half hours of homework _every_ night... sheesh mum! I'm not that bad) but I will try my hardest to please you all.

Wo and behold! I got five reviews for last chapter! So I'm a happy little girl right now.

I've also all but given up on dreams of people figuring out the lyrics titles, but I'll try one more time, if you recognize it then tell me and I'll personally dedicate one chapter to you.

Have fun reading ya'll!

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Title+

_And when I feel a little sting. Why do you throw that ball at me? And then my ears they start to ring. I got a rock stuck in my knee_

Roxas had thought he had escaped his red haired stalker, that is until his P.ed lesson, which involved changing in a locker (much to Roxas' discontent, he'd only just gotten used to his own… er, manly bits, now he had to view others), running out and doing a couple of laps around the gym, practicing whatever sport they were doing that particular day, then having a game against one of the five other classes doing physical education as well.

He had been late to class (Zexion having had his next lesson in the empty class he'd been sitting in and not willing to show Roxas the way) and was now the only one left in the locker room.

Then the creaky locker door had opened and in popped a black clad tall guy with DJ type headphones on his head and messenger bag dragging along on the dusty concrete behind him.

Roxas had tried to ignore this new person but was noticed instantly, _Must be the blonde hair_, Roxas joked to himself, _or it _could_ be that I'm shirtless, making noises and am the only one doing so here_. A goofy grin appeared on the taller males face as he stared at the blondes scrawny yet only slightly (not really, but Roxas liked to think so) toned shoulders.

"Hey Roxy," Axel strolled over to the blonde and grabbed at him from behind, pulling Roxas into a drug induced hug.

Roxas kept an 'eep' lodged in his throat, saving his dignity by choking it back down.

"Aren't you gonna get changed, or do you spend P.ed sitting in the sweaty changing rooms listening to music?" Roxas asked dryly, not really caring but figuring it'd get Axel moving and, subsequently, let go of him.

"As a matter of fact, that's what I intended to do. But since sweat covered blondes are big turn ons, I may actually participate this time, if only to see one of them in particular," Roxas scowled at the remark, but continued changing regardless.

"If that's the case then I'll be sure to stay minty fresh throughout this excursion," the blonde retorted, pulling out the last of his clothes.

He pulled on a tank shirt that him and Sora had found in the motel they'd lived in before (it's a wonder the blonde hadn't turned green from exposure to contaminating diseases yet). It was white and had red, blood looking lyrics printed all over it. Sentences ranging from 'a ghost of you, is all that I have left' to 'oooh heaven is a place on Earth' written this way and that, giving the top a funky appeal.

He turned back around to find the redhead in the exact same position as before, only this time without his accessories and in black three quarter shorts and a grey shirt.

Axel raised an eyebrow (_How does he do that?_ Roxas asked himself, _I've been trying to raise only one eyebrow for ages!_) at the blondes choice of clothing and motioned for Roxas to go through the doors into the gym first.

So of course he did.

And of course he was surprised when a skinny hand patted him on the backside in a way that could only be described as asking for a beating.

"Don't do that!" hissed the much shorter male, going red from both anger and embarrassment. Axel only shrugged and jogged (then panted) over to his class about thirty meters away, though mentally he was joyous at being able to get his little blonde friend to blush. Roxas sighed and looked up to see a very calm yet angry teacher glaring at him.

"Well… 'I got lost' and 'my dog ate it' have already been used so far today." Roxas looked behind the man to find a very embarrassed (and speedy, no one else had finished their laps yet) jock blonde kid called Tidus hanging his head in shame, no doubt the one to say his 'dog ate it' as an excuse for not being at class on time, "What's your excuse?" Roxas stared back at the man for a few seconds, eyeing the scar going above his brunet teacher's right eyebrow down to the edge of his nose.

Mr. Leonhart (or Leon, as he preferred to be known as) noticed the blondes curious gaze and said quietly, "sparring accident," to which the blonde could only nod.

Thinking back to what Leon had said, Roxas looked at his physical educations teacher and sighed in content, so far he liked this teacher.

"Well, you see sir… I was walking down the hallway towards the gym –being on time as I usually was at my old school- when this random blonde girl jumped out of a classroom screaming 'I am Oopbleah! Lord of the potato people!' (AN-for those who know me, laugh as hard as you want for this mighty appearance) at the top of her lungs. And organized her potato warriors into war against the cool-aid guy, who continuously shouted 'Oh yeah!' in his annoying voice. Half way through this battle, some thousand Lemmings walked in and tripped up the blonde girl, who was forced to walk the plank by a pirate named Jack for killing his ears during one of his 'the day after' headaches. Then a crocodile came in, eyes moving to a _tick tock_ movement and ate the girl all up. But he fell asleep from indigestion as the girl was burning his insides with a piece of flammable cotton candy, and no one, not even this very loud miniature robot, could wake him up, and he was blocking the WHOLE hallway up. I had to take another –much longer- route and had to do a hundred pushups to pay in exchange for permission to go across a bridge that was guarded by a ferocious squirrel with a cool title, which means you need not make me run laps. Also, if you want a copy of the pictures of all that has just happened, I may draw them and stick 'em on a fanart website," with that, Roxas smiled sweetly and waited for Leon to figure out what just happened.

"…"

Roxas tilted his head to the side so that he could see some of the faster running students in the same class as him, bewildered and in awe.

"I think that is the best excuse I've heard for quite a while now. Challenged only by the one Axel gave me last year," Roxas' teacher finally spoke, it looked like any more thought about Roxas' imagination would make his brain start smoking and all actions into auto-pilot (meaning, he'd instantly get Roxas to run laps, something the blonde had hoped he had managed to avoid).

"Why? What did he say?" Roxas asked in pure curiosity.

Leon looked at his oddball of a student.

"Something about a threesome with the Cheshire cat and the lead singer from some band called 'The Mintchicks'…" Leon turned to greet his class, purposely forgetting to remind Roxas about his laps.

_Figures…_, the young twin thought to himself, only half hearing Leon talk about playing dodge ball against the only junior class in the gym.

_Wait, who do I know who's a junior and doing P.ed in the gym_, Roxas thought. For a witty mind, he did have trouble thinking about some things.

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Axel was getting sick of hearing about the many techniques for playing dodge ball. It wasn't as if the game required dialect strategy. Simply two teams of players throwing balls at each other, and if you got hit by a ball thrown by the other team you were out.

Axel sat down on the ground and stretched out his legs in front of him. Frowning from the effort of ignoring Nooj and Zidane, who were consistently whispering things like '_druggie_' and '_faggot_' in his ear and trying to wind him up.

His friendly neighborhood weirdo, Gippal, noticed Axel's eye twitching slightly and sat down next to the dangerous pyromaniac, flipping off the redheads pursuers to get them to bugger off.

"What's with the eye patch?" Axel asked, motioning towards the black, pirate-like patch covering the spiky headed male equivalent of Mariah Carey's right eye. Now don't get the wrong idea about these two. Gippal and Axel had no intention of ever becoming actual friends, Gippal just knew his own friends (Nooj and Zidane) would get it bad if they overly pissed off the tattooed man.

Gippal sighed and closed his eye (or winked for a long amount of time) then opened it and said.

"Rikku, you know her right? My dorky arranged girlfriend? Yeah well… she and I kinda had a pencil fight out of random boredom, and I stabbed myself in the eye. Though she claims she has got it worse than me, she won't be able to wear a bikini for about six months –even though Summer's ended so she won't need to- and I won't be able to see out my left eye for all of eternity,"

Axel chuckled, not one to show sympathy, and said while getting up as way of leaving his words drifting in the blonde's mind for a while.

"Aaaah, do the minds and desires of women baffle us all? That's why I tend to stick to guys. You both think the same and want the same thing,"

Axel walked over to the line of people in his class waiting to learn which team of brats he'd be against, and hoping it would be Roxas' class.

He looked across the gym and noticed his special blonde talking to one of the schools many anger management problem cases, Hayner, and instantly became jealous, though he couldn't do anything about the interaction between the two, unless he wanted to run the risk of losing his little sex kitten.

Axel slouched into a position where he would have the least chance of getting a ball to the face. Strangely enough, he was always one of the last remaining players ever on his team. He _was_ kinda good-ish at dodging the ball if he actually tried full out to avoid the balls and gained a bit more weight in the process (Demyx had once joked that the other team just couldn't get him because he was paper thin), but it was mainly because everyone knew he sucked bad and didn't bother getting the small fry when they had bigger things (like Gippal and the other jock/nerd, Baralei) to worry about.

Looking up he saw Roxas staring straight at him in shock, standing on the other team's territory and preparing himself for defense. Axel smirked at the pose the blonde had done, wondering if it would make pounding the smaller boy into some bedsprings even more erotic (that is, if he could even get the shorter male to look at him like that).

"Ready? GO!" his teacher shouted while Leon (who Axel had had last year) stood off to one side and looked at his fellow staff member. The great ninja Yuffie (as Axel's teacher preferred to be known as) was standing rigid and itching for some one to screw up, anticipation and excitement making her perspire a little. Axel stood still with his headphones on (both Leon and Yuffie had each once tried and failed to get him to not wear them during class, but it was either the mp3 or the lighter) and music blaring in his ears.

And thus Axel looked as if he was participating, moving every so often when he didn't particularly want the ball to hit him. But really he was watching a certain boy on the other team, as the older kids were picking on him with ferocious attitudes (the 11th graders had played against the younger students before but didn't know how good the new kid was. Turn's out he was real _good_).

Axel picked up the ball that was rolling by his feet, catching the attention of Yuffie (who started shouting, "YEASH! I, The great Ninja Yuffie! The White Rose of Wutai, got Axel to do something Leon! My teaching skills must be better than yours!" at the top of her lungs) and earning him some brownie points.

He aimed it at Hayner, using all of his energy he'd stored from the ice cream he'd eaten some fucktenth amount of days earlier (_Maybe I _should_ eat more_, Axel thought to himself) and flung it in a horizontal direction. The ball managed to appear to be hurtling towards the blonde boy in camo shorts, but in reality it had hardly hurt him at all.

Hayner swore loudly as the ball hit him in the shin, then gloomily stalked off to the side. Roxas laughed at bit at this, though Axel internally fumed (he'd been aiming for the poor kids balls, curse his crappy aim) before noticing that there weren't many people left on his team. That goth girl (_Paine, was it?_ Axel asked himself), Baralei, Rai (also known as dickhead follower of Seifer), and himself.

Though on the opposing team, there weren't many people left either. Aside from Roxas, only three kids remained. Axel picked up another ball so as to look busy. He was beginning to notice a brunette girl dressed in yellow and hair flicking out in a strange shape (though thinking this made Axel quite the hypocrite) eyeing him. It was as if she was planning on… **Oh**.

The girl (Olette, as her friend had called her) high-five'd with another kid on her team as Axel walked off, rubbing at the giant bruise forming on his thigh.

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Roxas showered silently, ignoring the other boys who were doing their own private business in the stalls around him and trying not to look too freaked out about the redhead in the shower next to him, who continued to eye him up as he washed the sweat off of his own skinny body.

_Oh come on! _He thought with a slight scowl (_cough_ pout _cough_), _it's the first day of my being here. Can't you at least wait until you get home before letting your male instincts take over?_

Roxas' mind trailed off into other strange thoughts even after he'd gotten changed and was walking out the door. Thinking something about slime covered pizza as he and the newly found Sora walked through a corridor to their last class.

"So yeah, you better keep an eye out for Mr. Vincent, Rox. Riku says he just doesn't like skaters as they are rebels and stuff, but I think he's really a vampire who –instead of garlic- can't stand skaters. Makes sense, huh?" Sora turned towards his brother, who had once again almost dropped his skateboard from spazzing out too much.

Sora sighed and walked a bit faster, which made Roxas' autopilot mode speed up in order to keep up with him.

"Whatever emo guts. Just don't expect me to make our Social Studies lesson fun, 'kay?" Roxas' nodded and stalked into a classroom. Sora pulled his navy blue shorts up (he'd been borrowing a belt from Riku before but had returned it for the thing distracted him with questions of 'Why the fuck does Riku take spare belts to school?') as he waited outside for Roxas to realize he'd gone into the wrong class and pushed the blonde boy into the one next door, where a highly amused old teacher with the words 'This is Cid, He may look like an old sod, but listen carefully to him and he will not _accidentally_ spill poisonous chemicals on you' written in chalk on the board above him with an arrow pointing downwards towards him.

Sora giggled at the notice and forced his confounded little (twin) brother into the seat at the back (where he knew Roxas would've gone anyway) and watched as Roxas fell out of the chair and woke out of his stupid thought process, looking at the rest of the class in front of him in shock.

The brunet shook his head in laughter and settled in for his lesson.

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The rest of Demyx's lessons were absolute bores, but he'd managed to escape as soon as the bell rang and went off to find his best friend.

He walked down many corridors, his sitar case bouncing off of his back in his speed, and made it to Axel's class after the redhead had already rushed out.

Knowing what was going to happen, Demyx walked into the class and ignored the annoyed look the teacher was sending him as he picked Axel's messenger bag off of the desk at the back and walked out, bumping into Axel on the way.

"Here you go you silly goose monkey!" He said happily as he shoved the bag over Axel's shoulder.

"Gotta… find… Roxy…" the taller teen puffed, hands on his knees as he'd used up the limits of his energy in fleeing from class.

"You must really want him. You _do_ know Larx feels very strongly about this one and will probably beat you to a bloody pulp if you scare this kid, right? I think it's the blonde hair, blondes must protect each other or something," The mohawk'd boy said, shaking his head as he followed Axel out the door.

The redhead side glanced at his friend, "Ummmm… Dem? _You're_ blonde _too_ and Larxene has _never_ protected you from _anything_. In fact, she's _caused_ a lot of your pain, hasn't she?"

Demyx laughed as his minds journal jotted down how many italics there were in that sentence. "Yeah, but I'm immune for some reason,"

They chatted a little longer until they saw their target ahead of them. Roxas, Sora and Riku were standing by Riku's shiny purple sports car (AN- for some reason, people always make Riku's cars and phones silver, Axel's black or red and Demyx's green or blue, I don't tend to stick to stereotypes) as he offered the twins a ride home.

Axel growled, "That grey haired bastard is trying to pull the moves on my little sex kitten Demyx. What should I do?" Demyx laughed rather loudly, though it sounded like a pretty nice sound in his well trained voice.

"Axey babe, I think he's after the other twin. You better do something quick though, 'ya might lose him otherwise," this, of course, cause Axel to panic and rush over to the three without conjuring up a plan first.

Demyx smirked to himself. Though he wanted the little blonde boy for himself almost as much as Axel did, he loved getting people back. Especially after they set his phone on fire three times and changed his ring tone to something stupid from Mika. Demyx growled at the mere thought of that high pitched know-it-all.

And so, the musician walked forward slowly and watched his friend attempt to spend more time with his blonde victim, not noticing a certain slate haired boy standing behind him and looking at him mournfully…

(AN- DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUN!)

**:.:.:.:.:.:.The End:.:.:.:.:.:.**

**NOT!**

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Roxas stared up at the giant blue and green window at the front of the house in wonder. _Geeze, Marl-whatshisface is a fucken' millionaire! He lives in a mansion _and _can afford to have Axel sneaking in and watching his fuck knows how many TV channels!_

Roxas and Sora were currently occupying their thoughts with how bloody rich Marluxia's family must be to afford a property/continent in the smansy-er part of Radiant Garden, yet never spending much time there themselves and, in the pinkhead's case, go to school in a crummy place like Hollow Bastion high. Riku and Demyx simply stood and watched. In their many years of going to peoples parties (and the pink haired boy hosted a _lot_ of them) they had already known that the buff yet girly males house was huge. It was old news now.

Axel finally figured out where his bisexual friend had relocated to spare key and inserted it into the hole in the eleven foot tall double doors at the front.

He had managed to get the twins to agree to come to Marly's home (with mucho ass kissing and the deal that Riku and Demyx got to tag along for the younger boys' safety, though it was easier than when he'd offered his own skuzzy apartment that was being rented out by Demyx, who lived there half the time too) and had had to help the shorter boys over the five foot shit knows fence and distract a spider with inhumane comedy when Sora had freaked out about its being there, and now he was pushing the doors open to let them all in.

Riku walked through the entrance hall and into the enorgiagantigus (AN- yes, my own made up word that mixes enormous and giagantigus together) kitchen to get some food, while Demyx and Axel prodded up the grand stairs to look for a room with a PS3.

Sora squealed in a very unmasculine manner as he took off his shoes (a habit he'd seemed to have picked up from before Roxas knew him) and ran into the hall, his socks sliding on the polished floor and knocking over a large tree-plant in one corner.

"Sora!" Roxas yelled in shock, said brunet looked up sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head in a look of complete innocence, hoping Marluxia's family didn't mind the missing plant and the gain of broken pottery, trodden on plant and grungy soil in their previously clean entrance.

"_Roxy_! What were those crashing sounds I just hear? Your brother did something bad, didn't he?" Demyx called from upstairs, not really caring that his voice echoed through the many corridors and could've woken up anyone who might've been asleep in any of the nearby houses.

Riku came back in, dressed in a frilly pink (only color that was available in a house of flower manics) apron and hands on his hips, looking ready to scold Sora for breaking something that was important to Marluxia (I mean, it was a _plant_! He loves those things), But Sora already had on his pouty face, and Riku had to back down before he exploded from a Carebear stare impersonator.

"I'll do that for you, aye Riku? I'm immune to that look," Roxas said, clearing his throat to prepare for what was to come. Riku nodded and wondered back into the kitchen, leaving Sora with the brunt of his brothers 'you be careful in this house, young man' speech, which had the stress caused by perverted redheads fueling it massivly.

When he'd finished Sora had sunken into the ground in hopes that it would swallow him up and chase Roxas away.

The two boys that were previously upstairs walked in at about that moment…

"Woah, Roxy!" ("What did I say about that name?!) "You sounded like a total girl just then, it made you sound like _you_ should be in that apron instead of Rik," Both twins gasped and went deathly pale, simply because all of what Axel said was true. Roxas _should've_ been wearing the frilly pink apron, as two of the others would've thought he looked hott, one would've thought he was the cutest little twin brother in the world and the last one would imagine a certain _other_ person wearing the exact same thing. Roxas _was_ a girl just then, was a girl before then, and will remain a girl for quite a bit to come. And if Axel realized he wasn't kidding and wind got round to someone who wanted to kill either Roxas or Sora, they'd either be dead or have to leave and start a brand new life all over again. And neither twin wanted that for whatever reason. The two other boys watched as the identical twins both went white, then red, then slightly blue from lack of air. An array of colors that left them all baffled.

Sora broke the silence with his bottomless pit gurgling. Riku laughed as he walked back in with a tray of unknown food in his hands. It looked like boiled egg yolk and broccoli covered in mayonnaise and smelled like fish.

"Ewww… what is that?" Sora asked, holding a hand in front of his nose in order to block out the stink.

"Boysenberry and chocolate chip cookies with a bit of peanut butter on top," he replied with a raised eyebrow, wondering what everyone was on about.

Demyx 'eep'd and pointed at the "_cookies_"

"I think the one on the far left just moved! I'm not eating that! Let's get pizz- " "NO!" the two twins shouted at precisely the same time. They'd had enough of pizza from when Cloud hadn't been home to cook and were fed up with the stuff.

The mulleted boy blinked in confusion, "Oookay…"

Axel banged his fist against the wall, causing the other four to get whiplash as their heads swiveled to face him.

"Let's get Luxord over, hey will be able to cook better than _some people_," he glared at Riku, then glared at what Riku had the nerve to call food. Indicating what he meant by 'some people'.

Demyx clapped his hands together in delight, shouting off a 'good idea' before tugging on the youngest two to get them to follow him into the houses fiery depths, where a game of Super Mario Bros. Brawl was currently roaring for attention.

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"So, what? Are we staying the night here or something?" Roxas asked dazedly, putting the consol down and looking towards Marluxia's large window, where the last of the light from the sun made an angle on his face and hollowed out his eyeballs in an uber creepy fashion.

After ringing a frantic Cloud and explaining why his 'charges' hadn't come home after school Roxas and Sora had had a jolly old time, eating Luxord's wicked cooking and getting dared to eat Riku's. Playing lots of different games on the many consols located around the house and begging for forgiveness when the pinkhead had _finally_ come home.

Axel sat down next to the shorter boy and draped an arm over his shoulders.

"Yeah, pretty much. Why? Don't wanna spend the night with me?" the redhead held the back of one hand to his forehead.

He heard the blonde mutter something about a drama king as he pushed the taller off of him and walked out of the room. Leaving Axel to ponder over his next plans he'd made while eating cheetos (first thing he'd eaten in a week and it _had_ to be cheetos?) earlier that evening.

He felt a sudden sharp jab to his shoulder and looked up to see the outline of what he assumes was the older twin standing (almost) taller than him (as Axel was sitting on a couch).

The older boy noticed that it was getting on pitch black in the room and hissed sharply when Sora turned the light on.

"Are you ever gonna come back down? Demy and Luxord have already left and we're watching the end of a Starwars film on that big TV of his. Marly's in bed now,"

Axel sighed and stood up and ruffled the brown clumps on Sora's head, noting that he didn't go to fix it or scowl like his counterpart did.

"Sure thing, kiddo," and they walked downstairs together…

… to find that the end credits of the movie were rolling up and Riku was sitting alone on one of the millions of couches in the viewing room (yes, you heard correctly, Marluxia had a 'viewing room'). Sora made an annoyed sound at missing the end of the movie and sat down next to Riku with a pout on his face. Riku laughed.

"Roxas went to find a shower, so Axel, make sure you don't go near any bathrooms otherwise he'll expect you to be peeping on him," Axel imagined himself doing just that and winced as his mental image of Roxas (where he was scrawnily toned and accepted the redhead more) punch the mental image of himself in the face for spying on him naked… for the second time that day.

Riku stood up and pulled his dusty green bomber jacket back on.

"Whelp, hows about you and me go get us some curry, eh Sor? I'm feeling peckish again." Sora nodded and grabbed his own jacket from the chandelier (he'd swung it up there for some reason). They waved to Axel before leaving to get the food. Leaving the slightly horny boy to sit and wait for Roxas to come back.

About thirty seconds of waiting and his cellphone vibrated, causing Axel to jump a bit before sliding it out of his back pocket. The caller id said 'the dork' and he sighed and pressed the answer button (he thought the flip top phones were boring).

"What d'ya want Reno?" he asked the phone.

"Good ta hear from you too little bro," came the swift reply. Axel rolled his eyes.

"Yo, I… uh… kinda got myself into a bit of a pickle…"

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Roxas had only just gotten the fruity smelling soap out of his hair (either rose smelling or fruit smelling hair products to be found) and was about to start on his body when an angry shriek came from downstairs (Marluxia was a deep sleeper and wouldn't be waking up any time soon).

Axel came bursting into the bathroom. Making the blonde jump and try to cover himself with his hands, before realizing he only really needed to cover his lower half as he no longer had any breasts to hide.

The angry redhead turned the knob on the shower off and pulled the stunned Roxas out, passing him some of the taller boys spare clothes (which he had thrown into a drawer in the bathroom last time he'd crashed there) and ordered the smaller boy to put them on, not caring that he'd forgotten boxers.

"You can go commando," he'd said.

Roxas pulled the clothes on, feeling like a wannabe in the _way_ too baggy black jeans and sweatshirt (one where the drawstring had been replaced with chains).

When his head popped through the opening at the top of the sweatshirt, Axel tugged Roxas out of the bathroom, seemingly a bit calmer now that he'd had time to think (and look at 'his' blonde change).

"Is there a particular reason for you to be pulling me around after walking in on me in the shower? Where are we going?" Roxas asked, only slightly embarrassed but not enough to reward the junior with a blush.

"Lover boy took your brother out to get some grub and you're too young to be here alone in my opinion," ("_Excuse me_? I'm fifteen thank you very much!") "So you're gonna have to come too,"

Roxas huffed, he still didn't know where they were going but _did_ note that Axel was opening the door to an expensive (pink and very much like the one that lady in 'The Thunderbirds' movie had, minus the shape changing) car that he undoubtedly was also borrowing from his rich friend.

He got in and Axel turned the pink thing on, adding pressure to the accelerator and tearing off down the driveway at high speed. The front gate instantly opened, which meant the car had something funky connected to it.

"You didn't answer my question, Axel," Roxas said through gritted teeth.

The red haired boy looked at the smaller.

"My brother needs me to sign him out and beat the shit outta him for getting locked up in a cell… _again_," Axel added the last bit with displeasure.

Roxas nodded and sat backing his seat, enjoying the speed the car was going.

Then a thought hit him in the face (it probably came from somewhere out the opened window and came inside because of how fast the car was going), and he sat up hard and fast, or at least fast enough to make his stomach lurch.

"_You have a brother_?!"

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YeeHAH! I had to put Reno in there, otherwise it wouldn't be any bit as fun, only a short appearance that was enough excuse for Roxas to borrow Axel's clothes... oh weird mind of mine, how you have attacked me so.

Anywhoo, dedicated to Kitty Lurv who, for the second time, has reviewed first[claps happily

Mentions DJ looking headphones aren't mine, I do own a pari though. The words on Roxy's shirt were lyrics from Good Charlotte and Belinda Carlisle. Eyebrow raising is not mine, can't do it either. The excuses Tidus and unknown person used aren't mine. Amazingly, Oombleah! Lord of the potato people is all my idea. The cool-aid (curse him!) isn't mine, neither are Lemmings, Jack Sparrow, That Crocidile from Peter Pan, the indigestion idea and Sir Didymus from the movie 'Labyrinth'. Bikinis, dodgeball, Demyx's sitar and silly goose monkeys are not owned by moi. Nor are PS3's, Super Mario Bros. Brawl, cheetos or any other product written in this chapter. Lastly, duh I don't own any of the characters (except Oombleah! coz' she and her strange ways are based off of me, but she is unimportant and won't appear again).

Keep smiling and expect another chapter eventually, though probably not as fast as this one was.

HOOZAH! mum just popped in and, after glaring at me for not doing my stupid media studies homework, gave me a bottle of grapefruit flavoured Frank! My favourite drink out their!

Oh yeah, To learn of your drag name (yes, exactly as it says), which shall be used sometime in a later chapter, do four things:

1**. write down first name**

**2. write down name of first pet you had ever had (or remember)**

**3. write down name of the earliest street name you remember living on (ask parents or something)**

**4. and (finally) write down either your last name or a nick name people have called you before**

**5. tell me what you got, unless you find it creepy that I'll know your name (I'm not a stalker! I just wanna see who gets the goofiest name)**

For the record, I got Winter Bunny Aitkin Roelants, so see if you can top that off

With love and many drunk otters!

Roxas-Has-A-Stick (and will defend himself from Demyx if he must)


	4. Of mochas, subs, and more pervs

GOMENASAI!!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't updated in fuck knows when, stupid Social Studies!

Anyway, We have a winner here people! -said people groan, waiting for long speech-. Someone has finally figured out one of the lyrics i'd put up, Go ARNDIS (yes, you deserved capitals too) for figuring out that one of the songs was from Bowling For Soup. I was gonna lose hope soon. So cyber mini sugar donuts for you and I bring you this (slightly shoter than usual) chapter!

a LOT happens this time and most of it happens and isn't gonna go anywhere (except the Riku bit, that was a stuff up turned into an idea) but as you are at the beginning of the chapter, I won't spoil it for you.

Hope you all like my version of Reno, tried to make him so much like Axel that it makes the two of them hate each other.

ENJOY!

-apple cores and tomatos come flying at her- Do you mind? I'm trying to stay clean, not covered in stuff!

PS-I'll give you a cheat for these lyrics, it's from Bomfunk MC, if you name the song (it's unmistakingly obvious now) I'll give you your very own chapter five!

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Title+

_'Ooh, how you make me feel. Hypnotic, hypnotic. Ooh, cast a spell on me, Hypnotic (get ready!), hypnotic (jump on it!)'_

Axel had freestyle driven all the way to the police station, only to find out that Reno had really just wanted to panic and, subsequently, anger his younger brother and was actually standing outside the police station drinking a caramel mocha (AN-mmmmmmmmmmmm! Pure heaven in a single caffeine infested beverage).

"_You dick_!" Axel shouted, ignoring scowls from old ladies and his little blonde passenger who had been (accidentally) locked in the car when Axel blipped the button and had to find the opener and only then could he chase after the redhead in nothing but borrowed baggy pants and a sweatshirt and running on gravel with bare feet.

Poor kid. Poor, _poor_ kid.

"Good to see ya too lil' bro, yo," the older redhead replied coolly. Roxas was still walking but could look at the man called Reno, who must have just gotten off work to bamboozle Axel. He was dressed in an untucked dress shirt and slacks, with leather boots and a black jacket to match. His flame red hair appeared to be a shorter spiked version of his younger brothers, except when a particular big gust of wind blew by, Roxas could see a thin strip that was tied up at the back blow about.

All in all Roxas' first impression of him was… _shit, another annoying pervert who's gonna end up ruining my life._

Axel growled in anger and pivoted on the ball of one foot, causing the short blonde to run headfirst into the tall boy's stomach.

"Oh, sorry Roxy, didn't see ya there. C'mon, let's go before you get infected with flamboyant idiot germs," Axel said as he grabbed Roxas' wrist and tugged the boy back towards Marluxia's car. Roxas sighed and followed the tugging, not feeling enough energy in him to retort that the younger redhead was also a flamboyant idiot.

Roxas felt a hand on his shoulder and he was roughly jerked out of Axel's grip. This caused the redhead to shout in defiance and the blonde to scream,

"For godsake! Can you people just _not_ treat me like a tug-o-war rope?! All I want is to get back to that shower I was having, _please_?" he inhaled furiously and looked at Reno, who'd been the one to grab his shoulder. Roxas noticed that this red haired person _also_ had tattoos on his cheek bones, swishy lines under and to the side of both eyes, _must be a trend, or maybe a family thing_, Roxas decided moodily.

"Axel! I'm ashamed of you, not introducing me to this cute little blonde, yo," ("Uuuh… Reno… I'd keep away from the cute comments if I were you," Axel muttered, knowing from experience) "Bit grouchy though, aren't ya?" Reno smiled, not noticing Axel bracing himself for a torrent of anger. "So is he your new boy toy or something? Can I borrow him when you're done?" Axel visibly winced; he was reminded of the blondes outraged storm off at lunch earlier, the blonde was very sensitive where his virginity was concerned.

"_Reno_..." the shorter redhead warned, though in reality he _wanted_ the blonde to hurt the older, _serves him right if Roxy does..._ Axel reasoned with himself.

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Sora and Riku had found no Indian takeaways, so instead they stopped off at a sub sandwich café. Sora stared blankly at the menu, not sure what half the sandwiches were (he's spent the previous fifteen years of his life with a personal chief in a giant white mansion, and then three months in a motel room living off of Hawaiian and Meatlovers pizza for every meal of every day, so it was natural that he wasn't used to sandwiches).

Riku looked at the boy, deep in thought.

"What? Were there no Subways in Twilight Town or something?" Riku asked the short brunet, who immediately turned and replied, "Yeah, I just never went to them,"

Riku smiled warmly and told the lady in the latex gloves what he wanted on his sandwich (AN-could that have sounded any more perverted?! Darn me and my innuendo), Sora listened intently and asked in the same way when it was his turn.

When they had five different foot long subs (they remembered Marluxia at the last minute) they left the building and slowly walked back to the Mansion. Unlike Axel, Riku didn't just pop willy nilly into other peoples garages and borrowed their cars, so he and Sora had walked.

"Sooooo, why did you move anyway?" Riku asked, stuffing the hand that wasn't holding food into the pocket of his bomber jacket.

Sora's breath froze in his chest, he'd forgotten the reason they 'supposedly' moved because of.

"Uhhh… we just did… why?" he stammered, looking curiously at the lunar haired boy.

Riku laughed lightly, the sound echoing in the dark street (it's like, what, _eight thirty_ at night and they are walking home from getting Subway? Brave people!).

"Well, usually people don't move from a nice place like Twilight Town to a craphole like Hollow Bastion…" Riku looked disgustedly at the houses on that street, they were getting nicer the further up they went, Marluxia's was at the very top with all the other mansions.

Sora finally remembered the excuse and weaved it into the conversation.

"Well, it's the only thing Cloud could afford while working as a Delivery Boy. Not a good pay that job. And it's not as is Mum'll lend us some money…" Sora trailed off and stifled a realistic sounding but absolute bollacs sob, turning away slightly.

Riku almost chuckled to himself in self-preservation,

"You're a good actor Sora-" Sora looked up startled, "WHAT?!" he shouted, his voice going almost an octave higher than it should've been.

"_Nothing_," Riku quickly righted himself, taking the subs in Sora's hands and walking ahead, leaving behind a very confused

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The blonde was silent, shaking as his anger boiled deep within his little body.

"He looks like he'd handle a pretty good fucking, yo. How 'bout it blondie? Up for some rough buttbanging in my be-_oof_!" something inside the short blonde had snapped and, in a flurry of anger, he punched the older redhead in the crotch as hard as he could, and Roxas had a pretty good right hook on him.

In fact Reno, to Axel's absolute pleasure, had doubled over and was clutching in between his legs in pain, falling to the floor and begging for mercy.

Roxas continued kicking the redhead even after he'd gone down and needed an empathetic Axel to make the short yet scary blonde withdraw from his attack.

"Wow Rox, you pulled out all the stops on this one, you cheat like a friggen girl," Roxas paused and looked down at his hand, muttering things to himself as the pained Reno attempted to stand back up, only to fall over again as a new wave of pain spread through his body, suddenly making him _not_ want his mocha anymore (AN-_bastard_! who would stop drinking a mocha?!). Axel laughed at his pathetic big brother.

"Axel… I don't think… he doesn't like me… does he…" Reno stuttered, gasping for breath and holding his poor, abused balls tightly.

Axel snorted, holding the still muttering blonde boy back by the shoulders, "No shit. Roxas? You okay? You want me to force jerkass here to apologize?" Roxas' eye twitched as he came back to the land of the living. He was tired from lack of sleep and cold from lack of clothes.

"Whatever. I just wanna get back. It's dark and… creepy…" He mumbled as he turned back to the car, leaving behind a long shadow from the lamplight.

"He's an interesting find, yo. Bit of a bite in him, but you like that, _don't you_?" Reno asked his younger brother with an amazingly knowing smirk for someone who'd just lost about fourty percent of their chance of ever producing kids, both were staring at the blondes retreating form.

"…"

Axel stared long and hard at his new prey. For some reason this one (out of the _tens_ of _hundreds_ of people he'd singled out and gone after) was getting to him, maybe it was because of Roxas' inability to look embarrassed, or perhaps it was the blondes kooky imagination that turned him on and made Axel accept the challenge.

His strange thoughts were disintegrated when the theme song of 'Men In Black II' started playing. Reno slipped out his cellphone and answered it.

"Yo!" he said in his signature voice, ignoring Axel who was mouthing 'so _fitting_' in reference to Reno's ringtone choice.

Reno flipped him the bird while listening to someone on the phone. After saying his good byes he turned to Axel.

"Gotta go, yo. That was Rude just now. Got us some business. _Official_ Turk business he says," Axel all but groaned at his brother's egoistic mind.

"See 'ya when I do," the older replied, giving Axel a two fingered salute and walking towards his motorcycle.

"Naturally," The other boy hissed back.

Axel turned back towards the car and walked back over. Noting that Roxas wasn't waiting outside, _I must've forgotten to lock the door or something_ (car has tinted windows, so he wouldn't be able to tell if there was someone inside), Axel thought to himself.

He opened the door to find that no blonde boy was there.

He stood up and looked around. The street was empty though the lights from all of the houses were leaking out, giving the redhead a good light to see nothing by.

"Roxas? I get it, I took too damn long. Just come back out and we'll head on back now…" no answer.

"Seriously, I'm freezing my balls off, could you _please_ come out…" utter silence…

"Sora and Riku should be back now… I'm sure they'll be worried –well, actually, Sora'll be worried and Riku'll use it as an opportunity to get in your bro's pants- so we should hurry it up!" utter silence was now laughing at Axel's pitiful attempt.

"Roxas?" utter silence had gotten bored and was now sitting on its couch at home watching a taped rugby game while stuffing itself full with Kentucky fried chicken.

"ROXAS!" utter silence was now slapping a newspaper against the wall asking for Axel next door to _shut the fuck up_…

Axel ran up and down the street, frantically shouting out Roxas' name. Then ,about five minutes later, he came to the realization. Roxas was gone.

_Oh shit…_

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Riku hadn't said anything weird since when they were walking home, but now Sora had bigger worries. Roxas and Axel weren't at Marluxia's when they'd gotten back.

Riku had joked that they were probably having anal upstairs in one of the many rooms in the mansion, but Sora had openly disagreed and was getting worried by this point. They _had_ checked all of the rooms that they could find (which consisted of Sora holding his fist over the door, ready to knock, before chickening out and making Riku shout for the people inside to make themselves decent in ten seconds, then five seconds later -Riku wanted to have _something_ to use as blackmail- he'd open the door to find that it was empty. They'd then move on to the next door) first, so they knew the boys weren't in the house.

"Maybe something real bad happened. Maybe Roxas has been kidnapped…" Sora looked up concerned, though it was hard with the drop of Italian sauce dripping down the side of his mouth.

Riku snorted.

"Sora, Axel is there too, there's _no way_ Roxas could be kidna-" He let out a startled cry as his callphone vibrated (AN-this happens to me all the time, and then I'm stupid enough to reply to everyone's questioning glances with 'I'm vibrating' which in turn makes people think I'm sex crazed… **HELLO**! I'm _waaaaaaaaay_ underage for fucks sake!)

He flipped his phone and greeted whoever it was without checking the caller id.

"Axel slow down… no he isn't… no… _**WHAT**_?!... okay, okay… yea yea _yea_, I'm going alright… I gotcha… okay by," he flipped it shut and turned to Sora.

"Sora, never say something might be happening, unless you say 'money might be falling from the sky' coz', as far as I'm concerned, everything you say could happen, will happen,"

"Riku," Sora said sharply, "You're not getting to any point so far,"

Riku sighed and looked at Sora through his strands of what a girl in his class liked to call 'emo bangs'.

"Roxas has been kidnapped,"

Sora consequently fainted…

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Good thing for Axel the police station hadn't gotten up and run off on chicken feet yet (can't say the same for a witches house in a certain story book…), because he needed the police to track down his missing Roxas.

"Calm down," the man said softly, trying to get the hysterical seventeen year old flag pole (tall but uber skinny… and holds up flags too!) to stop twitching every few seconds.

"Where's Roxas!? What if he is being tortured right at this moment? What if-" "Quite down! You're giving me a headache something serious! If you are worried about your friend then I understand that, but right now you're acting like an obsessed school girl," The policeman snapped, finally having enough of the tall boys ranting.

"I'm sorry," Axel wheezed, running out of steam, "I just feel so responsible for this. I dragged him out here forgetting that just because people don't try to knick me off the streets, doesn't mean him in all his short, blonde glory stands a chance on his own," Axel sat forward in the itchy red chair and put his head in his hands. "God, I'm a stupid ninny," he sounded almost as if he was going to start crying, but, as he had learnt long ago that unmanly displays did nothing for him, he did not.

After ten minutes of uncommon sulking, Axel stood up, stretched and walked out of the police station.

_If these dickwads won't help find Roxas_, Axel thought to himself, _I will. And I _won't_ be held responsible for my actions…_

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Roxas didn't know whose hand was slung across his mouth, but he _did_ know a) His capturer was taking him somewhere by foot, b) The hand smelt of asphalt, and c) He had to pee.

The guy pushing him forward spoke into a mouthpiece in a harsh, unrecognizable language (but because I want you people to picture it well, we'll say it was something like Croatian, I don't know…), it seemed as if he was yelling but languages were so strange that he could've been talking to his three year old daughter telling her how great the birthday card she'd dent him was. Roxas couldn't be sure.

Ahead of the two (Roxas was certain there were no others close to him) appeared a guy, Roxas looked hopeful, until he saw that the person was wearing blue gloves and a black suit. Roxas remembered Cloud was telling him what attributes to look out for in people passing by, incase one of them happened to be after him. _'As far as I can tell, they all wear black suits, have on blue latex gloves, work in pairs only, and know so many different languages they probably converse in five different ones at a time'_, Cloud had said, though at that point in time Roxas had known him simply as the 'blonde spikey headed dude', but the general ideas was the same.

Roxas thought that, if he could convince these guys that he was a he, he'd be able to get outta there alive.

He bit the blue hand that covered his mouth and yelled at the two men who were holding him hostage (er… in the middle of a street? Those two are rookies).

"What the fudge do you two want? If you are a bunch of sci-fi fans, then tough luck, coz' I'm a **guy** and Superman or whoever the fuck it is doesn't save dudes. If you're rapists, then 'WTF!?' didn't you get the vibes that I might _not_ be gay?" though, technically, he was gay, "you two look like complete losers in those hand condoms by the way," Roxas gestured his head towards the gloves, internally laughing at how stupid it would've been if these two were civilian killers, and not just hired to nick him off a street.

If the two men hadn't paused at the mention of Roxas' man-ness (Roxas was actually half expecting the one who wasn't holding onto him to check! Ew, perverts!), they were at his attitude. They were expecting something else. A female for one. Someone who didn't mouth off and was more violent. Once again, a female. Someone with _loads_ of money and didn't need to buy jeans and shirts _millions_ of sizes too big (no, he didn't magically lose Axel's clothing, he's still going _commando_, the poor sod). I repeat, a female! And many other things.

This time talking in French, a language Roxas partially understood, the skinnier guy (bulky bearded one was holding Roxas, and the skinny bald one wasn't) talked to the bulky guy and said, "-Perhaps we got the wrong person?-".

"-Yes, the (blah blah blah) wasn't expecting a boy off the streets.-"

"-should we knock him out incase he tells (blah blah blah blah –_c'mon! Roxas doesn't know that much French! Plus they mixed bits of Dutch and Chinese in there too_-). We might get killed for that-"

They finally faced Roxas and spoke in English, and the boy pretended to act dumb and not know a word of French. After all, he was just a '_boy off the streets_'.

"We are terribly sorry for the inconvenience. We are looking for someone who looks mighty sim-" _**crunch!**_

"Take that, you bastard! No one –I repeat- _NO ONE_ kidnaps my little Roxy-poo…" a rather annoying idiot screamed as he knocked out the other guy. Roxas growled at the nickname and stared at the redhead who was wielding his lighter and piece of picket fence with dignity. Oh quote from the blonde's witty sarcasm.

Axel stepped in between Roxas and the unconscious men, as if they were gonna start moving around again.

"Hey, should I use my 'little hypnotic mind blanker' on them? They are asleep after all…" Axel asked while looking at the humored blonde with a giant neon question mark imprinted on his face.

Roxas groaned at Axel's flamboyant idiocy, "suuuuuurrre…" "YIPPIE!" Axel shouted at once dancing over to the still knock out men (but not before poking them with his picket fence to see if they would stand up).

"You have never heard of Roxas… [insert melodious repeat of the last line for about five minutes running" then "This night never happened… what actually happened was you two left whoever you're working for," it seemed Axel had noticed their similar sense of style, "in favor for going home and having hot kinky gay sex together-" "Axel!" Roxas screeched, he didn't believe in this hypnotic shit, but _if_ it _did_ work, he didn't won't two men to lose their marriages with their wives after doing it with each other.

Axel huffed, "fine… you would rather work as toy shop owners, you like kids… you don't won't anyone to be hurt or raped… you will each go to the park up the street –both at different times by the way- and hide three hundred bucks each in the tree where the branches don't start for a while, the one by the only green seat in the whole park…" Roxas rolled his eyes. He'd had enough of this.

"C'mon Axel! Can't we just go?" the blonde asked desperately, feeling a cold shiver run down his spine.

"Sure thing, Rox-" "If that name ends with a 'y' I am gonna crucify you and make you watch infomercials for the rest of eternity!" Roxas hissed at the taller of the two.

"Right… infomercials… got it…" was his only reply as the older pulled the younger into his side by the blonde's waist and started playing with the gelled locks.

"God… I officially _hate_ peer food tech…" the smaller boy muttered, though really he was starting to like his horny powered radiator… _oh the warmth_!

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At about two in the morning a certain bald skinny guy in blue gloves stood up and dusted himself off. He couldn't quite remember what had happened and hoped his still unconscious muscled companion would help clear the fuzzy spots in his memory when he woke up.

He looked about the cool air. He spotted a bit of his blood on the ground and a white chunk of picket fence lying close by, which gave him opportunity to figure out what had happened earlier that night.

For some reason, he felt the sudden urge to stick some money into a tree at the local park… oh well; he'd do that later…

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-insert reacuring number of dots- wow... 'little hypnotic mind blanker's work...

Dedications Arndis! For getting the lyrics

Mentions Caramel mochas... not mine. Slacks and any other clothing mentioned belong to me not. Guys in blue gloves that appear in two's are still from Firefly. Tug-o-war is not mine, though i lose to it many times. Subway! don't own, don't sue. Bomber jackets rock! i know i already covered clothing, but seriously. Cloud's job is because of AC, get it? yep. I don't own Men in Black II, i like it though, and it suits Reno and Rude perfectly. I don't own the 'bird', I _do_ know people who don't know what it means though (middle finger people!). Hey, guess what? I own Utter Silence's personality, and plan to use him again. dun own KFC. the money might be falling from the sky thing is from that movie about robots... what's it called? oh well. Dammit! there's too many things for me to type at this late of time! I own hardly anything mentioned so review and let me SLEEP!

... I had no idea I had 'tight' by mindless self indulgence on my cell phone (ipods suck coz' i break them too easily! I rely on my phone's memory now)

G'night!

Brought to you by Roxas-Has-A-Stick (the repair services that attack you in your sleep and raid your fridges!)


	5. Of flashbacks, ear nibbling and Morpheus

_Hola, Gittal? Welcom to 'si', and introduction to Spanish!_

Now that I've got _that_ outta my system...

After lots of pressure from someone at school (who pretty much sits next to me in EVERY FRIKKEN LESSON I have!), I have finished chapter five. And it goes _nowhere_. A flashback to when Roxas first woke up and then some more random crap, but bear with me, the story'll come together once Roxas and Sora have settled into their happy family game. But until then, I need some ideas for what happens to them, so far I'm making it all weird things that make no sense, and if you want, you can add an idea for a chapter as part of your review -hinting that author loves getting reviews-.

This one is dedicated to two people, Hyper Kid (who got the song for last time. Why, how did you know it was called Hypnotic? -_saaaaaaarcasm_!-) and Kitty Lurv (who's being so cool and reviewed every chapter I've done so far! I LUV YOU -glomps-)

This time, I couldn't be stuffed finding some lyrics, so it's a riddle you need to answer. And trust me, you'll kick yourself when you get the answer!

Oh WOW! I found this little button that makes instant bar thinggies! I'll be sure to use it from now onwards!

* * *

_Title+ _

'What's the name of a cheese that is made backwards?'

_The first thing Roxas had said when she woke up was, "Who the __**fuck**__ are you?!"… okay… so the first things she really said was, "gimme five more minutes mom…" but that was irrelevant to the story and I have no idea why I felt the need to tell you, I guess I couldn't categorize this fanfic as 'Humor' if I made it plain and boring._

_Well, anyway._

_The reason for Roxas' swearing in shock was because she'd woken up in an unknown bed (she knew it was unknown because her bed didn't consist of beach towel striped duvets or springs that went '__**crrreeeeeeak**__!' at the slightest movement) with a gangly tanned arm wrapped around her shoulders and a glob of brown hair almost up her _nose

_The glob of brown hair shifted as it followed the rest of the globs of brown towards their waking master. Vibrant blues eyes focused on Roxas as she stared in disbelief at the fifteen year old boy._

"_hello…" he mumbled, sounded very much like a certain creaky bed they were sitting on. Roxas blinked at him and then followed his gaze towards the cheap alarm clock (which happened to be flashing '_5:37_' in bright green fluorescent colors) and decided that her _companion/crazy youth rapist who was out to get her_ didn't like being woken up at this time in the morning._

"_Um… I'm not cold or anything so could you please, oh I dunno… _let go_?" Roxas seethed, though she gasped at the slight difference in her voice, it was deeper… somehow…_

_The boy grumbled and tugged Roxas closer to his bony yet squishy body. He liked her as a blanket._

"_Ignore him. The moment he wakes up properly you'll feel the brunt of utter hypo, also known as Sora. I'm Cloud by the way," A blonde haired man said from Roxas' left. She hadn't noticed the muscled yet still a bit scrawny man leaning against the door frame, but now she did, Roxas realized there actually was a door frame. Not to mention the rest of a cheap-as motel room. Just use your imagination on what the rest of the place looked like, okay? It's like, _three_ in the _morning_ right now!_

"_Soooo… there a particular reason I'm here with 'chocolate head' wrapped around me?" Roxas asked the man called Cloud, who chuckled and handed the out of it brunette an empty glass (it __**had**__ contained orange juice but it was gone down the brown haired boy's throat before Roxas could see it)._

"_Well, he's your new twin now anyway and this motel didn't have enough bedrooms, so he had to bunk with you. I guess you must be all soft and squishy, like a __**teddy bear**__," Ookay… coming from someone like Cloud, that last sentence was _**so WRONG!**

_Wait a minute…_

"_TWIN?! I don't remember ever having a twin!" The shorter blonde shouted, staring at her 'twin', who seemed back in the land of the living and was bouncing in the bed. A choir of muffled creaks could be heard from the lady waltzing in her living room with her motion sick cat three flats down._

"_Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! We are now in this protection program thingy and it means we three have to be brothers! Like one big happy family! Ain't it great?" the chocolate locked boy, Sora, if Roxas remembered correctly, looked at his new twin._

"_Okay, so here's the drift right…" Sora started. You know the story, Roxy's mom and dad spending millions on Roxas getting surgery (they didn't go into details on that bit) and the info on what had been happened the entire two plus months that Roxas had been out of it –this included Sora's beloved Arsenal beating Chelsea in some random league or another, apparently this was important too…_

_**Over five minutes of nonstop explaining later…**_

_A pause. Then…_

"_Oh… that's right! I get it now; this is why those guys gave me the pills, right? So… _how do I look_?" Roxas struck a pose while still sitting up in bed (wearing an old navy blue shirt and black pants with white strips down the side and sporting a hyperactive brunette around her waist, though something about that shirt made her look… different… flatter maybe)_

_Cloud and Sora looked at her funny, which made Roxas sigh grumpily and get out of bed._

_She walked out of the room and into a very clean room for two boys supposedly living there for the past month or so. After a quick glance around she found the bathroom and walked in, stopping at the mirror and staring at her reflection as her jaw hit the cream tiles on the ground._

_She registered short, spiky, honey blonde hair and eyes the same kind of blue as Sora's. A cute ass face and a small body structure._

"_Yeah, I know. I saw you before and I thought it was a pretty big change too," Cloud said, for some reason leaning against another doorframe (Later on Roxas learned that this was Cloud's way of making a big impression, his boss had once said that he looked cool when he leaned against things)._

"_Yeeeeeeeeap… I think I'm gonna take a shower now. Are there any clothes that _don't_ smell like a port-a-loo at a building sight?" Roxas asked, internally happy that her sarcastic wit had finally returned._

"_Oh, Sora can lend you something, you two are meant to be the exact same so you should fit everything he's got. We've got someone who has a range of fashion styles you can pick to suit your personality before we move into our new home, so feel free to steal from Sora until then," Cloud shrugged, then jumped as Sora ran in with a pile of colorful clothes he wanted Roxas to wear in his arms. Apparently he liked playing dress-up._

_Roxas took them and slammed the door on the two boys. She dumped the clothes over the heater thingy that you find in most bathrooms and got undressed to get into the shower._

_She hadn't noticed anything off until after she'd smothered her was spiked now floppy and shampoo-y hair that something was up… er… _down there

_She resisted the urge to scream as she realized that the whole time she'd been missing her beloved 34B's (not to mention gained a one-eyed snake…). She got over her initial shock and understood what Sora had meant by 'brothers', he'd meant that the stupid people had made her male!_

_Roxas was outraged at first, so to speak. She wondered how hard it would be considering she didn't know much about being a guy, though she acted more like one than she did a girl. Thinking some more, Roxas decided that maybe being a guy wasn't so hard. Though it definitely feels nice for the author to not need to be able to remember to write 'she' instead of 'he' from now onwards._

_Cloud had, of course, known a reaction was taking place in the now steaming bathroom and told Sora (who still didn't know his now slightly younger twin 'brother' was a girl) to go get some milk from the dairy (meaning Sora went off and bought pizza from the other side of town and took four hours to do it)._

_The younger blonde finally came out of the bathroom, red in the face from having to look at her newly acquired manly bits and teeming with questions._

_Cloud sighed. It was going to be one of '_those'_ kind of weeks, wasn't it?_

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Aside from being kidnapped on the first day (though it was only for about two hours tops), attacked by ball holding juniors every p.ed lesson and hit on by countless pervs, Roxas' week was a real bore.

Though he still had a little (taaaaall!) problem that wouldn't leave him alone. Its name was Axel, and it sure tested both Roxas' brain capacity _and_ his memory about his 'past'.

The annoying redhead had asked lots of questions about the blonde's life, enough that the older had also memorized it, or so he said.

But the investigations had worked both ways and Roxas had also learnt a lot about his crazy stalker, learning from both the forceful lanky guy _always_ hanging off his shoulders or said lanky guy's best friend (who had decided Roxas needed to learn how to play the sitar as well, and he still wouldn't stop suggesting he and the blonde rock in his bed, it was bad enough with _one_ pervert).

By after lunch time on Friday, Roxas knew that Axel usually drove his car at snails pace so that no one took away his license again. That he probably only ate once every five days as he was about as poor as sea kelp. That his brother (despite making all of those crude comments earlier) was one hundred percent straight. That he loved fire **too** much. That his unruly hair was natural in color as well as style (unless his hair gel was water proof, sleep proof _and_ Sora proof and he died his pubes –seeing the hairs was an accident caused by Axel's skinny hips not supporting his pants properly and said pants sliding down so that a few red hairs peeked through at the top. Roxas denies feeling embarrassed about this I might ad-). And lastly, that he was usually very lazy the sudden interest in Roxas' blonde self was suspiciously active for someone with Axel's reputation.

Oh, and a little weird information from Demyx: Axel knew enough moves to become a walking Kama Sutra book (AN-sorry, I needed and excuse to use that word in here somewhere), and wasn't afraid to prove to everyone that this was true. Roxas _really_ didn't need to know that. Nor was he planning on asking for a demonstration as Demyx so bluntly put it.

There was also a rumor around that Axel and his friends were doing drugs (which is true, but blondie doesn't know that).

Roxas had been thinking this as he'd sat down on a bench while watching his class whip another class's ass in p.ed class at some sort of whacky sport involving rackets. Roxas sighed at his teacher's ability to make him brandish a racket and set him loose on his fellow students, only to be taken out by a fierce douche bag known as Gippal (one-eyed creep who took Roxas' lack of height as an advantage to get him out).

Roxas looked up as Leon walked over, looking all too happy for a depressed guy like him.

_Oh dear…_

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Axel watched everyone else in his class wobble towards the lockers in agony. Unlike them, he had _not_ really participated in class and so he was _not_ covered in sweat, _not_ amazed at Baralei's ability to whip ass, and _not_ happy that p.ed was over, as his final class did not involve a little piece of Roxas._ I may have ta ditch last period, maybe I'll meet up with Roxy afterwards…_ Axel thought happily.

Speaking of the blonde, Axel saw Leon walk over to Roxas, who had suddenly looked all too cheery (Axel noticed this happened every time the scary teacher came near the blonde, which lead him to believe that the blue eyed kid was afraid of the man and was pulling a 'calling a monkey with a gun _sir_' act), only to look down in embarrassment at something his p.ed teach said, then look really worried and disappointed in himself as Leon waved to signify that he could go.

As Roxas shuffled past, the redhead loped a scrawny arm around his shoulder and pulled the shorter one into his side, not caring that Roxas was also a bit sweaty. Roxas squeaked a little and then scowled at his own patheticness before looking up at Axel without bothering to struggle, he'd learnt long ago that squirming only egged Axel on more and the red haired boy had a vice grip on him.

"What did Leon want Roxy-as! Roxas?" Axel quickly righted himself, happy to have saved his ass for another second or so.

"My sporty…_ness_? is too good," ("Yay! Go Roxy!" "OI!") "so Leon wants me to join some random club, but I need Cloud to say 'yes' or 'no' or else I can't go and Leon will come close to murdering me," the blonde shivered involuntarily, "Cloud's got to meet up with Leon later tonight or something along those lines," Axel let Roxas go as he stepped into a shower stall, though Axel didn't need a shower and was only waiting for Roxas to come back out.

The blonde reappeared just over a minute later and Axel's arm was attacking the slim waist again, but Roxas was prepared and sidestepped. Axel huffed.

"So… can I come over to your place today?" Axel asked as he slipped out of his usual getup, walking back to the small blonde in nothing but silk black boxers (apparently, Axel's wardrobe mainly consisted of black, though he had other colors if he didn't feel like black) to help the pitiable blonde undo the buttons at the back of his shirt (though why Roxas put the shirt on backwards, we'll never know…).

"Why do you even want to? Cloud won't be there so there's gonna be nothing to eat and Sora and I usually watch some interesting movies that we have when there's nothing else to do," Axel inner mind theatre instantly thought of Roxas and Sora watching porn and what they'd be doing with their hands whilst watching porn, and the image must've brought an expression up on his face because the blonde instantly yelped, "Disney movies you horny idiot!"

Roxas sighed, tugging all of his stylish effects on (he now felt to masculine to simply call them accessories, though that's all they were) as Axel did up the laces, buckles, velcro and chains on his large and slightly tattered combat boots.

"So, yeah. Why d'ya want to come over anyway? You already knew people get bored shitless when they go over to my house. So, why?" cerulean eyes searched Axel's face, though the answer was known by both of them. The answer was 'because Axel is a dirty perv' of course.

"Roxas?! Hurry the heck up! You know what Cid's like when we're late!" both boys turned to see a very distressed looking Sora panting by the entrance to the lockers, his sky blue shorts and orange tee-shirt bright against the grey walls.

"Coming!" Roxas shouted back, picking up his stuff and scurrying after his brother, ignoring the 'I'll be sure to wear sunglasses next time I see you bro' comment coming from a black clad redhead that had once again attempted and failed to grope him.

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Demyx _hated_ calculus. Simply because there was always this feeling that he was being watched in this class, but when he looked backwards he'd only see that emo kid with his nose in his dictionary (and the notes that he knew the teacher was going to write already written neatly on his notebook along with many other detailed doodles), who'd instantly look up and ask, "What?" in that monoto…mono… _Damn_, Demyx thought moodily, _same pitched voice_ of his, which pissed Demyx off to the fullest, so he'd retort, "Nothing, I just heard that there were cutters on display back here," then he'd turn back and guiltily think about this for the next five plus minutes.

Just after this happened for the fifth time in half an hour Riku, who was sitting next to Demyx and looking like he was five seconds away from snapping his pen in half, turned to the mohawk'd boy and hissed under his breath, "Just stop it! Your tension is distracting me!"

Demyx apologized quickly before looking down at his ring binder, noticing that all he'd written down was the date (and it was wrong, since when is it ever the 34th of December? It wasn't even DECEMBER! At all!) and a wicked drawing of his calculus teacher's head on a pole that was being grinded by a more manwhore-ish than he already is Saix (god, Demyx _despised_ that teacher!)

When the bell rang for the last time, Riku was glad. No more fidgeting Demyx who didn't appear to notice his secret admirer. No more saving two naïve twin's lives (incognito style!) and no more poky Axel trying to get juicy Roxas involved info from him. The lunar haired boy sighed wistfully.

If only Axel didn't have his cellphone number…

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_Stupid. Axel. Stupid. Riku. Stupid. Demyx. Stupid. Axel. Stupid. Riku. Stupid. Demyx. Stupid. Axel. Stupid. Riku. Stupid. Axel… no wait. Stupid. Demyx. Stupid. __Riku…_ and thus the chanting in Roxas' head continued as he grouchily sat in the middle seat in the back of Riku's weird car (yeah, sure it was cool and everything, but _purple_?) as a touchy-feely redhead continued rubbing his cheek bone against the top of the blondes head on one side and a musician on the other squishing into him with his arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

Riku in the driver's seat chuckled as he looked at Roxas' forlorn expression before he had to turn in order to pull Sora back into his seat (the first time Sora road up front without a seatbelt, he'd almost fallen out the _top_ of the car of all places. The car had a sun roof).

Once again, Demyx and Riku had managed to get their way in this world, this time by asking the twin that was always eager for anything if they could come over, and then will make his much more angsty slightly younger brother go along with it by claiming that said blonde is out numbered, which he usually was in most matters.

And, if any of you had managed to follow that, this meant that they were all heading for Roxas and Sora's home, which was currently missing the Cloud that was grumpily walking to meet up with Roxas' p.ed teacher to discuss Roxas' sports skills (this is important knowledge, I'll tell you why later).

When they got there, Demyx couldn't help but whistle. He was pretty excited to _finally_ be able to go to the home where his item of desire and his biology buddy (Sora) were living.

Riku parked in the always empty driveway and they all stepped out. Well, Roxas was dragged out and was held between two men, both of them partly horny, about five centimeters off the ground, but you get the picture.

Sora ran forwards and attempted to push his key into the slot but failed miserably, good thing Riku was there.

The door opened and Riku was dragged in by Sora while Roxas was dragged in by Demyx and Axel. When Roxas was finally let go, he caught a glimpse of Riku's designer… er, trainers, stumbling up the stairs towards Sora's room, possibly to spend the next twenty or so minutes listening to Sora prattle.

Roxas sighed and then saw that the other two were staring at him, possibly waiting for him to be a good host.

"Errrr… make yourselves at home. Um, there are cookies in the jar labeled 'mustard' and movies in the bookcase over there," Roxas pointed into the living room, "so… yeah. I'm going to go upstairs and do depressing, emo things," Roxas turned to go upstairs but instead of hearing his own soft padding of feet, he heard his feet, something big, clunky and covered in jingly things, and something that tripped up every few seconds. Roxas stopped.

_They're following me…_ he thought to himself.

He walked a few steps and stopped again just to see if they'd do the same. They did.

The shortest member of the trio sighed again and pretended to turn around, before quickly turning back and running up the stairs hoping he had confused his personal stalkers. But a quick glimpse back proved that his attempt had been fruitless.

"_Fine_… let's go watch a movie or somethi-" he didn't quite finish as two sets of hands grabbed his being and marched him back into the living room, where more unwanted cuddling took place while 'They've got Morpheus!' and other familiar quotes played on the TV screen.

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"Woah! Roxas really drew those?" Riku asked sitting on a bed that smelled like Roxas and staring at the many pieces of artwork that the blonde had drawn in his spare time. There was a pile on his was once upon a time clean now messy desk where Roxas randomly shoved his finished works on, meaning the ones at the bottom were the oldest. These ones consisted of ice cream pictures, sketches of clock towers and desolate and dark rainy streets with neon signs around everywhere. Things that didn't make sense to Riku or Sora.

At the top were more recent ones. The blue window that Roxas saw at Marly's mansion, some people he saw walking around, a stampede of wooly mammoths beating the crap out of Axel, Demyx, Riku, Leon, and another teacher Riku didn't know of. Things that the two who were raiding the blonde's room could understand and relate to.

Sora nodded happily and finally walked out, pulling a slightly tired Riku up and towards the brunette's room, while chatting happily about the many achievements of Roxas. Riku wondered if the blonde knew his brother devoted himself that much.

Sora's room had a much more pleasant feel to it than Roxas' did. It was brighter and showed that the small boy did actually have a life.

Riku yawned accidentally, which made Sora clamp a hand over his own mouth, before saying sorry for boring the lunar haired boy.

"Sora, it's fine. I'm not tired because of you. I've never, in all the years I've known you, been tired or hurt because of you…" Sora looked up sharply. He wouldn't have known Riku that long unless Riku knew he was not who he was. How Sora put that into his head made him feel like a lying scumbag and he stopped that train of thought.

"Have I really known you that long?" he asked the startled boy, who was actually starting to shake his wide shoulders a little bit.

"Riku? Are you okay?" the blue eyed boy was getting worried now. He looked Riku straight in the eye and become aware of the fact that the color in them had changed to a more blue-y color.

He looked up and the person he saw was hardly Riku anymore, but something else…

"Yes, of course I've know you that long. Did you lose some brains when you gained the new tresses or something?" the Not-Riku person snapped. But he gasped at himself and the silverhead piped down, all of him going back to normal.

"…" Sora was speechless.

"…" Riku replied.

"Could you tell me what happened?" Sora's shaky voice asked.

"…No. Just know that that wasn't me who said that," Riku answered, his gaze going down towards the star shaped rug on the ground.

_Man_, Sora thought, _talk about awkward!_

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Later that night everyone at the twin's house had come downstairs to watch another movie, which happened to be Sin City.

Sora had gasped and grabbed at Axel (he was avoiding Riku a little bit, but not enough for people to notice anything wrong, except Roxas, but he was the twin so it didn't count) countless times before the silver haired boy had finally dragged him out of there with the excuse of going out to get pizza (which they were).

When the front door had slammed, Demyx turned to Roxas (another freaked out boy curled up on the couch with a pillow in his arms and, for once, not covered in Demyx or Axel) to marvel the small boy's beauty before asking if he was scared.

Axel had gotten up to go to the bathroom a second earlier (though everyone knew he wanted to check out the blonde's bedroom too) so no one except the musician could hear the boy whisper, "_no_," in a croaky voice. Though, in reality, Roxas looked like he was going to get nightmares for the next week or so.

Demyx sighed and lay full out on the couch they were on, pulling the blonde on top of him and wrapping his arms around the boy in a protective manner. Roxas snuggled into Demyx's chest and turned his head to continue watching the movie, only to jump again and sob quietly into the lime green shirt of the older.

When Roxas didn't move, Demyx assumed he was asleep and paused the movie. He didn't really like it either. Too much pointless gore.

When Axel came back (with victory in his eyes as he'd got to see his little sex kitten's room) he instantly cringed at the sight of the two blonde boys, one on top of the other, fast asleep on the couch.

He sighed in slight sadness and gently lifted them up, pushing them so that he could sit down to hug both of them and keep them safe. Though before he could get to the hugging the front door opened again and in popped an embarrassed looking older blonde.

The older of the two awake citizens jumped a bit and asked, "You don't happen to be a relation to Reno, do you?" in a calm yet distressed manner.

Axel blinked and said, "Yeah, I'm his younger brother, Axel. I'm hoping you're Cloud, right? Me and Demy here go to school with your bros," Axel tried to put a happy face on things as he nudged the sleeping figures to get them awake.

Demyx jumped about ten foot in the air when he was awoken and fell off the couch, much to the amusement of Axel. Roxas simply blinked before sitting up and scooting over to give Axel and Demyx more room.

"Oh, hey Cloud, how the meeting with Leon go?" he asked, and Cloud knew then that nothing fishy was up with the three in front of him. Roxas never finds anything suggestive unless it was actually what had happened, one of the reasons why it was so hard to make him blush.

But Cloud did just that.

He told the three boys the story of what had happened when he'd gone to see Roxas' teacher. And the author can't be stuffed writing the dialogue of what happened so she'll just skip to the boys' reactions and make it blatantly obvious what happened.

"You _**serious**_?!" Axel exclaimed, while Demyx went into a fit of laughter and Roxas stared in shock.

"Yes," more blushing on Cloud's part.

"And you agreed?" Axel burst, his face going red from trying to hold in laughter.

"Uh huh," Cloud's face was now competing with Axel's hair for the 'most likely to blind you' award.

"You _do_ realize what this can do to a kids rep –sorry Roxy-, don't you? They generally get shunned quite a bit and things get awkward for a little while," Axel then started laughing also, which made Cloud snap.

"Oh, come _on_! It probably won't work out anyway, right?" Cloud said, feeling suddenly tired and like he needed a soothing bath. Roxas choose now to intervene.

"So… let me get this straight. You went to see Leon in order to get me out of doing extra sports, and you come back with a _**date**_!? And not only a date, but a date with your little brothers _**p.ed teacher**_!" Roxas looked a bit faint, oh the trauma he was going to face on Monday…

"Roxas, calm down," Cloud tried to sooth his blonde charge, not accomplishing that as Axel seemed to have other ideas.

The redhead grabbed Roxas by the hip and brought him down roughly on the older's lap and nibbled on the blondes small ear, earning him a shocked expression from the beat red man, a disgruntled cry of pain from a certain blonde kid, and a pissed off shriek from the other blonde.

And still he chose to ignore it.

Sora's face when he and Riku walked in with pizza to see this, now that was something he could live without.

"**Axel**!" the brunette had screeched, running in and ripping the blonde victim up by his hair and dragging him off and up the stairs. The four still down in the living room could hear a very loud slamming of a door and a slightly fainter bolting of a lock.

Three pairs of eyes, all different shades of blues and greens, glared at the redhead who had caused the outbreak from the second youngest person in the house.

"What?" the redhead asked, unfazed by what had happened.

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"I can't believe Axel did that to you!" Sora yelled, absolutely outraged that his little brother had been victim to a serious act of sexual harassment.

Roxas was getting sick of everyone treating him like a little kid. He was _fifteen_ for fucks sake! He didn't need to have his hand held every step of the way through his friggen life. Just because Sora was older than him (hell, Roxas didn't even know if Sora really _was_ older than him, they both had changed their birthdates to the same day and similar time) didn't give the silly brunette the right to fawn over our poor protagonist (if you could call Roxy that…).

"So…" Roxas ground out, too tired to say Sora's full name like he'd intended to do.

"I promise no one will do stuffs like that to you again," Sora said, making Roxas believe that the brunette intended on keeping the blonde locked away in the colourful room until further notice.

Sora stuffed his face into his fruity smelling pillow (AN- I always thought he seemed to be the type who'd smell like fruit) to muffle his scream of annoyance.

About another twenty minutes of this and Roxas was sure that his brother was fast asleep. The younger slipped his phone out of his jeans and quickly sent a txt message to Axel:

**He's asleep. **

**Hurry up and save me from this… **

**THING!**

The blonde sat still, preparing himself for the inevitable vibration from his phone, yet he still jumped when he received a reply:

**UNLK DA DUR!**

It took Roxas a minute to translate the message (_stupid txt talk!_ Roxas thought to himself) and when he did, Roxas couldn't get out of Sora's grasp, but managed to reach the lime and yellow painted entrance with the tips of his fingers, just able to flick the latch with a soft '**clink**'.

The door opened soon after and Cloud and Riku slowly walked in, one nudging the tan arm from Roxas' waist and replacing the blonde with a stuffed frog found on the ground and the other tucking the brunette into bed, making sure he was comfy and wouldn't come out any time soon.

The three of the escaped silently, closing the door behind them and walking back down towards the living room, where they found Demyx, who was sitting in the loveseat and armed with a vase of water that was aimed at Axel, who was muzzled and sulking in a corner.

* * *

YAY Demyx!

I told you it's be random...

Just to keep you entertained until next time, me and my friend found a website where you can change movie quotes, so laugh you're asses off with these things:

-You can't handle the Demyx!

-You know the difference between you and me? I make King Mickey look good

-I'm looking for the army of the twelve Mary Sue's

-You want a Roxas? Just say the word, and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down.

-The power of Demyx compels you

I don't know about you, but I found these particularily funny!

Oh and... You know the dedications and I own nothing but the plot! so don't make me write a whole mentions list, kay?

Adios!

-----Roxas-Has-A-Stick! (and god help us all if he decides to use it...)


	6. Of breakfast, dates and scary Riku

Yes, I know. Welcome back to me, eh?

It's been _way_ too long and that friend I mentioned earlier (the one that always sits with me at school), well she is scary, so it's good that I a.) updated before she got violent, and b.) am now blessed with the school holidays, six weeks in total.

Discounting this week (as I am spending my days till Christmas making heartless plushies with my friend for peoples presents. Oh the dilemas of broken sewing machines, fabric stores opening in over half and hour and boredom), I should have enough time to update at least **once**, gawd, I'm not _that_ hopeless.

Though another filler, unfortunatly. I am running out of ideas (_good_ ones, Magda), so I need an insight (via the oh so welcomed reviews) on what you guys want until scary people come out to play, "muhahahahaha! I am the evil pedo of doom!"... keep that in mind.

The song has this week/month has nothing to do with nothing, lest you count the vapidly occuring number of homosexuals that are appearing in my fanfic, unfortunatly I must deny you of your SoRiku, but I'm terribly sorry! And yes, for all those who bother with the beginnings, that was one **_MAJOR_** spoiler I just let off there...

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_+Title+_

_'I been denied all the best ultrasex. I been denied all the best ultrasex..._ _Dig me now and fuck me later, and sing it to the tune of faggot, faggot, faggot...'_

The start of another grotesque day and our little Roxy was already having it bad. The three who'd come over the previous day had managed to score themselves accommodation for the night. _Somehow_…

But the very drowsy Roxas opened his eyes to see that the burning rays of blurred out light (not a lot of light, but when you can only just see in between your eyelids, it BURNS!) was being obscured by towers of pointed redness.

_Oh great…_ the lethargic blonde thought to himself, _the flaming monkeys of Krieahcnoshwimn are still on the loose…_ (AN- don't ask. Just, don't)

When his head had cleared of all haze and images of flaming monkeys, Roxas realized that Axel had taken it upon himself to sleep in the younger's bed. It was a good thing the bed was a double (for now, he needed a new one that actually fitted into his room and Cloud could have the spare Sora had bought him) otherwise there would've been a hell of a lot of screaming on his part much earlier on. But, for some reason, he still felt warm. _Stupid pyro and his ability to make all things fuzzily warm…_

Roxas tried to push the lanky teen over the edge of the bed, but Axel managed to hold on to Roxas and the boy didn't want to hit the floor that much, and so he simply turned around and tried sleeping the other way.

Imagine his surprise when he got blonde mullet stuffed into his face? Or the fact that even past Demyx, he could see chocolate brown and silver hair poking out the top of the far end of the bed, towards the wall.

_Did_ everyone _feel_ _the need to disrupt my personal bubble that much!_ Roxas was pretty pissed off, as anyone who had magically made themselves invisible and were currently sitting in the room (not that there were any invisible people... -goes shifty eyed-) could see thanks to the red face Roxas was sporting and heavy train steam (metaphorically) shooting out the blonde's ears.

Now, there were lots of grumbles and profanities pouring out the blonde's mouth, he just wanted to have his own bed back!

He untangled himself from the long limbs of both Demyx and Axel and hopped off the bed, making his way down to the kitchen, where he found Cloud.

"Have a good sleep?" the older asked with a smirk. _He knew!_ Roxas seethed, _that bastard knew!_

"My sleep was just fine!" Roxas spat, "Now, do you have a wall for which I can bang my head against, a pillow for me to scream my lungs out into and a microphone so I can get them bozos out of my _bed_?"

Cloud chuckled, standing up so that Roxas could see that he was in nothing except dark blue flannel PJ bottoms with fuzzy yellow and pink bunnies on them, this made Roxas feel suddenly less babyish in his own knee high snoopy covered blue and purple shorts and black shirt.

Cloud made a 'clearing of your throat to get peoples attention' noise and Roxas could've sworn he'd just cricked his neck as the shorter of the two looked up at the older brother. He forgot how tall Cloud was.

The older past Roxas a air horn (one of those types you get a sports events, in the canister of air and you press the button and it goes 'BEEEEAHUUUUUUUUUU!' and it sounds real cool) and some ear plugs, saying "I knew your mom and she would kill me if I made your hearing go," which made Roxas smile and think nostalgic thoughts about his real mom and her random, slightly kooky ways.

Still kind of sleepy, Roxas shuffled up the stairs while popping the ear plugs in his ears. He peeked into his bedroom to find that no one had moved more than an inch since he was last up there, and that was only because Axel and Demyx no longer had him to hold and very well wouldn't be sleeping there with a Roxas shaped space between them.

Smiling tiredly yet devilishly, Roxas held the cylinder just over their heads towards the middle of the bed.

Roxas yawned and pressed the button, which made a horrible noise he couldn't hear shoot off into four pairs of ears.

The people in Roxas' bed shot up and clamped their hands over their ears to protect them from the noise. Axel had even fallen off the bed (much to Roxas' pure delight). The only one to not move was Demyx, but after he'd shoved everyone except Axel (who wouldn't budge and still sat on the floor to wait for his little 'sex kitten') out, Roxas found out that Demyx hated it when people touched his stuff.

Roxas took a tentative step towards the mullhawked (AN- isn't that a cool word? I'm borrowing it without permission from someone else who I can't remember, hope you don't mind whoever you are) boy and whispered in his ear.

"Axel is burning your sitar case, and I think the sitar is actually in there…"

Demyx was gone in an instant and Roxas turned to see him straddling Axel's stomach (_Ohh kinky..._ HAH! made your nose bleed), with his legs clapped tight to stop the redhead fuzzball and it's body from moving as he strangled him, all the while hissing, "HOW COULD YOU!? I TRUSTED YOU WITH MY SITAR'S LIFE!" at the top of his lungs.

Roxas tapped the blonde on the shoulder, telling him that it was a lie to get him out of bed.

Demyx gasped and quickly let go of the redhead, who rubbed at his neck painfully.

"What'd I _do_?" Axel whined grumpily.

Roxas literally booted Axel and Demyx out the door and hopped back into his still warm bed in hopes of catching a few more hours of sleep, only to have Axel back in his room staring at him with curious acid eyes.

Roxas frowned, "What?"

Axel said nothing for a bit and stared at the blonde thoughtfully (_wow, there's a first_, thought Roxas moodily) before saying,

"Why don't you like me?"

Though it sounded silly and childish, Roxas knew he didn't mean as friends.

"Because you're perverted and creepy and obsessive and a player, need I continue?" Roxas could almost laugh as he watched Axel shrink back in on himself with each reason not to like him.

Axel tried a new tactic.

"What if I bought you some brekky at this real nice place I know 'bout? And I swear it's not a Mac D's," The redhead said (for he'd learnt from the amazing Marge Simpson that a sure way to a guys heart –or into their pants in this case- was through their stomachs) as he sat on the edge of the bed and fiddled with Roxas' hair. Though he complained endlessly when it happened, Roxas actually enjoyed it when people played with his hair (AN- he's a sucker for it, like me sometimes… _shut up Magda!_) and he inaudibly sighed in content before saying,

"Fine… if you pay…"

Axel hooted and punched the air with his fist. He started to walk out the door when Roxas spoke up again.

"… and if we can bring Demyx along too!" Axel did an anime face plant into the carpet (mainly because he'd tripped on his too long socks that had extra fabric at the toes), groaning in frustration at having to bring his best friend along with him.

"Yeeeeeah… sure…" was his only reply, this left Roxas wondering what he'd done wrong. His intentions weren't to add to the sexual tension or anything, he just didn't want Demyx to miss out as Sora and Riku already had plans for the day (this had been discussed during the previous night, before the mishap and mayhem).

The red haired, red _faced_ boy dusted himself off and told Roxas to get dressed and that he'd be back in thirty minutes.

"What? Where you going?" Roxas asked, slightly confused that Axel was yelling for Riku to drive him and the mullhawked boy back to his apartment.

"This shirt is goin' through day number two right now," Axel proclaimed while holding up three fingers, realizing his mistake, Axel lowered one, "I need a shower and some new duds or else I'm gonna smell like a tip for the rest of the day," Axel took a whiff under his armpits and sneezed from the stench. Roxas crinkled his nose.

"Yeah… whatever. Just don't tell Sora 'bout this or else I'm going to go through he-" "SORA! You're the reliable twin, right? Can you make sure Roxy's" ("OWE!" "serves you right, you flaming porcupine head!") "Ready for his big bonding time with me and Demy after I get back?"

The two in Roxas' room heard a squeal of excitement, which was followed closely by a grunt of protest from the other three (who'd were destined to have headaches for the next five hours).

Sora bounded into the room, Riku in tow, so that he could follow his heart and dress Roxas up in suitable clothing.

"Hurry up 'emo boy'," Riku sneered, not liking the idea that he had to help the two on their 'three way date' when he had much more important things to do, like getting into his own brunet's pants…

Axel flipped the lunar haired boy one before half skipping half wheezing out of Roxas' room, the much healthier boy following after him.

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When Demyx and Axel came back in Demyx's aqua colored Acura NSX (AN-gawd I love sports cars…), they were both somewhat clean, smelling of their favorite flavors of Axe, and dressed to impress.

Axel had on dark formfitting jeans and a fishnet top with a black tank top over it. Shoved into a corner of Demy's car was a denim jacket that was the same shade as his pants, though it was probably destined to remain in its corner as it was getting warmer still in the suburb of Hollow Bastion. Lots of chains and black combat boots finished the look up while the chocker collar made him look like Red XIII on a leash.

Demyx had gone for a more subtle look. Baggy, too long black and crimson pants that had to be folded at the bottom and dark blue converse chucks with a hand sewn musical note design on them. Skin tight green shirt with a giant slit at the front that was held weakly together by something that resembled a think crimson shoelace so that part of his pectorals were showing. He'd brought along a sea blue hoodie with paopu fruit stitched into the corner just in case he needed it.

The two men walked (as sexily as they could) back into their blonde's kitchen (they are both vain and egoistic in every manner of the word) and each smirked as Sora whistled playfully at them. Their confidence had boosted vapidly over the past few minutes.

"Sorry Sor-sor! This bod ain't yours!" Demyx said as he struck a violent pose and ignored the evil glare of promised torture from Riku.

Sora giggled in happiness before saying,

"You should be happy Axey told me about this; otherwise Rox would've gone in whatever he could find… or worse, not bothered to get out of bed after you two left. But I think I'm pretty good at choosing what Roxy should wear, maybe I can become a fashion designer when I grow up…" The rant continued but the three boys in the room had all tuned out by then. Riku at least had the decency to nod whenever Sora paused to take a breath.

"Sora!" Cloud whined/called out from the other room, "Roxas won't come out. He's camera shy! Who knew?" The sarcastic remark made half the boys in the kitchen 'aaaaaw' and the other half (Riku and Axel) to smirk to themselves and look in another direction.

"I'm not camera shy!" came the disgruntled reply, "I just feel like one of those male doll's that little kids buy to go out with their Barbies! It's disgusting!" Roxas was still not in a good mood apparently.

Sora huffed and wadded out and up the stairs, past the other boys line of sight. An awkward silence loomed in the room and Demyx shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. This made the clumsy being unbalanced and he toppled over and into the hallway, reemerging a few seconds later with a red face and a sore forehead.

Sora and Cloud came back in about two minutes later, with Roxas held kicking and screaming on the older blonds' shoulders. Cloud plopped the short boy down on the ground and he immediately went silent, not enjoying being the centre of attention.

The thing that flashed through everyone (except Roxas of course)'s minds was most indefinitely, _WOAH! hott dang diggity_.

He was wearing rustic blue jeans and a red and white checkered belt. A baggy blue turtle neck shirt (long-sleeved and where the neck folds over at the top) with two sky blue lines running side by side down the front. A black and white checkered wristband on his right wrist (Axel noted that he'd seen the blonde wear it often and figured it must have some deep meaning) and a loosely buckled watch on his left.

The blonde's shirt was still what caught the other boys' attentions though. Even Riku had to admit that Roxas was pretty good looking with a shirt that rode up at the slightest of movements.

There was another awkward silence, followed closely by a sharp cough from a naïve Sora (who'd had no idea why no one had been talking earlier and didn't like the peace that was uncomfortable.

"So… where are you three going?" Cloud finally uttered slowly.

Axel brightened up and put on a sly smirk, "They'll see when we get there…" Demyx idiotically smirked also as he resisted the urge to make supernatural noises (the kind houses make in ghost stories, or in the background of alien movies), in reality the mullhawked boy had no idea where they were going either.

Cloud blinked at the before making an understanding noise and turning towards Riku, "I believe you are taking my other little brother out this fine day also, am I correct?" Riku shifted uncomfortably and dug his hands into the pockets of his sleeveless hoodie, trying to ignore the ice cold lasers that were shooting out of the tall blonds' eyes.

"Uh-huh!" Sora replied, saving Riku the trouble, "We'll be going to the train station the heading off to the beach, yay! I can't remember the last time we took the train to a beach, and it's the one in Destiny!" the others then noticed that the two friends were both wearing swimming trunks (though Sora usually wore strangely colored shorts so no one thought it was anything weird) and were each holding sun bleached bags, suntan lotion, flopping hats and towels over their shoulders (also quite reoccurring feats in Sora, though Riku copying him was a bit OTT for the lunar haired boy's little infatuation -cough-_**obsession**_-cough- with the older twin).

Axel was getting sick of 'his' blonde's screwed up family and said screwed up family's friends, for he suddenly exclaimed,

"OH! We best be going if we want to catch the morning special," as if he knew that the place he'd picked out '_had_' a morning special on a Saturday.

Sora waved goodbye to the trio as the went out the front door and parted ways at the end of the drive (AN- darn the Engrish–_spelt incorrectly to prove a point here!_- language and it's way of using big, unknowledgeable words to describe things, by 'drive' I'd meant that walking path way you get that leads from the side walk all the way up to someone's doorstep) with two laidback boys hoping to soak in some sun and get back without having half the beach clinging to their persons in unmentionable places and three stylized guys set to party all night in a club with hott girls (or, in their cases, hott men) hanging off their arms and begging for drinks and a place to stay (this is one of those 'nudge, nudge. Wink, wink' moments).

Axel opened the door to Demyx's car and hoped straight into the driver's seat. He just wasn't in the mood to fear for his life with Demyx's crazy driving, which involved Demyx head banging to a beat on his walkman and almost hitting poles as his favorite bands rock out and killed his ears.

Demyx pouted and started to walk back 'round to the front passenger seat.

"I call shotgun." Roxas hastily shouted before Demyx could touch the door (it was a habit of Roxas' from when he was a she).

Demyx pouted even more and it looked like he wanted to catch raindrops on the inside of his lower lip. Darn Hollow Bastions lack of rain clouds, eh?

Roxas happily opened the door and sat inside with Demyx sulking in the back. Though he piped up when Axel proclaimed that, as driver of the vehicle, no one was allowed to distract him (this included a perverted joke towards Roxas that we don't need to hear and a slap on the arm that we don't need to witness), which meant Roxas craned his neck and talked to him in the backseat rather than the snail pace of a driver next to him.

In fact, Roxas could've sworn that the snail on the grass by the roadside was slowly but surely overtaking the redhead.

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Riku must've been a cat in a past life. There was the general dislike of water, the obsession with milk and Japanese food (also known as _raw fish_), and, his most embarrassing attribute, the need for someone to pet and preen him.

Two of these reasons were being tested as you read. Riku was currently at the beach (aka the wet, _salty_ horror of all hair that is bleached, though Riku's wasn't, he'd just been hit by an amazingly cool looking premature graying problem) with the ever so touchy-feely Sora.

The younger teen couldn't keep his cute, sand covered fingers to himself.

"Aaaaw, c'mon 'ku!" Sora whined, covered from head to toe in sand and salty water, the brunet was trying to egg Riku into the dark depths of the vast ocean (AN- I feel so _cool_ for creating an ocean in Hollow Bastion, _Hollow Bastion_ of all places!), but the lunar haired boy wasn't budging.

"I'll buy you some… er, what can I afford? _Pretzels_! Yeah! I'll promise to buy you some pretzels if you come into the water!" Sora begged, bottomless pit growling in protest at that certain 'p' word.

Riku snorted, "I'm not food orientated like you are, Sor,"

Sora looked honestly offended, "I am _not_!" he protested.

"Hey look, walking waffles at nine o'clock,"

"_**Waffles**_?! Where?!"

Riku had tried to save his dignity but failed and cracked up laughing.

"What?" Sora was confused as anything, he'd forgotten about the 'walking waffles' idea and now was trying to figure out what Riku was laughing at.

Giving up on ever being at least on the same step as everyone else, Sora grinned like the idiot (though undeniably cute idiot) that he was and tugged on Riku's arm sharply, pulling him into the crashing saltness.

Riku shivered from coldness and turned on Sora, who'd taken to giggly stupidly and was rolling around on the ground, scaring a small crab in the motion.

Sora stopped when he felt the bad aura in the air, he faced Riku and whimpered involuntarily.

"Heh heh- how's about we talk this out, eh, Riku?" Sora laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Sora," Riku gruffed playfully, which made Sora squeal and duck under the rolling waves, Riku following close behind with his tickling fingers at the ready.

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Roxas had to hand it to Axel; he sure did know some pretty swanky places that were indiscreetly out there.

Demyx whistled, "Isn't this a bit beyond your budget, Axel? If you can afford this place then why the _hector_ am I paying for your crap shack of an apartment?"

Axel looked proud of himself as he asked the waitress for a table for three.

"I got some extra cash on me at the moment, thought I'd splurge on my two favorite blonds," He replied as he sat down, purposefully making sure Roxas sat between the older two around the round table.

Demyx grunted from being humorized, "What? Did you find the money in a flowerpot or something?" he asked as a joke.

"No. tree," came the immediate reply.

Enough said…

When everyone (save for the ever thinning Axel) had ordered some food and had settled down, Axel started the conversation up with,

"Anyone else feel like a threesome is in order here?"

_**Smack!**_

"No! Bad Axel! No perverted thoughts for the rest of the day!" Demyx scolded, though internally he felt like a little the same.

More awkward silence pursued.

Axel got bored after the next minute or so of silence and started singing quietly to himself.

"_Hey boy, get your rocks off, move boy, we put the clock on you boy, you can't miss my friend, you get knocked down, get up again…_"

"Cut it out!" Demyx hissed under his breath, "You're not a singer, Axel, and you're putting Teddybears Sthlm to shame at this very moment,"

Roxas, who hadn't spoken at all throughout the whole ordeal, wondered how Demyx could possibly figure out the Band name just by listening to Axel's slurry voice. (AN- why does everyone make Axel sound like a good singer? I'm a fan girl yet I still think his voice is too rusty to sing well)

The blonde ignored the bickering men on either side of him and looked around the restaurant some more. It was large and cozy, with sky blue and honey pink and a bit of caramel painted all on the walls.

It was about this point in his exploration that Roxas realized that almost everyone in the café, male and female alike, were staring at them…

… or more appropriately, were staring at **Axel**.

It was true. Wherever he looked, at least two people were either glaring at the red haired male, looking on with lust-filled eyes, or acting as if they were amazed he had a life outside of whatever he'd taken a part in with them.

This sparked interest, curiosity and a hint of anger at this proof that Axel was not a normal, _non-horny_, human being, like Roxas hoped to prove.

"Axel," He hissed under his breath, causing the redhead in question and his partner in crime to turn towards him curiously and everyone else in the café to strain their ears to hear what he was saying. Their attempts were futile as Roxas wasn't going to let them hear him.

"Is there anyone in this room who you _haven't_ slept with? Anyone at **all**?"

Axel looked around himself and noticed, finally, that everyone was indeed keen on watching his every move. To test this, he lifted a hand and slowly moved it across the table, which resulted in fourteen pairs of eyes (not including people at his table) moving to follow it.

Axel chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his head, making almost all others revel in the sight of his fiery locks squishing down and springing back up with the movement.

"Um… _you_," The taller boy said as sensually as he could, though it resulted in a bad reaction from several others in the café, all of them looking down as their crotches sprung to life. The blonde boy waited for the list to continue.

It didn't.

"That means…" the blonde looked at his counterpart older blond and realized how red-faced the sitarist was looking. Yep, Demyx had fallen victim on at least one occasion too.

It then occurred to Roxas what Axel meant by 'you'.

He was next on the list…

"I need to go…" Roxas said, accidentally leaving his mobile phone on the table as he quickly stood up and attempted to vacate the building.

But the moment he stepped outside, a hand wrapped itself around his wrist and pulled him down a side alley.

"What the-" Roxas was cut off as a black scarf was enlodged into his open mouth and another, less wet one was tied around his eyes as the person carried him off.

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Sora whined about his sore sides as he sat down in the sand, the salty wetness on the seat of his shorts making the beach stick to him like glue, though he didn't really care.

Sora looked down forlornly at his tanning forearm and wondered again how Riku could remain so pale (he'd worn only a quarter of the sunscreen Riku had, but it shouldn't have meant too much of a difference, right?) during the hour or so of lazing about on a pretty deserted beach.

Speaking of the pale boy, Sora looked around and noticed a slight absence of lunar hair. _Where is he?_ Sora asked himself, while one tiny part of his mind congratulated himself on not speaking out loud again and embarrassing himself.

Sora stood up and vainly dusted the sand off; searching the dunes for the black clad boy (who the _hell_ wears black board shorts to a beach?) but Riku had disappeared into the depths of the unknown.

"Riiiiiiiiikuuuuuuu!" Sora shouted, getting concerned now that he could tell it wasn't a joke.

"Oh _poo_…" Sora had never been good at swearing at the right time.

He walked around one particularly large mound of sand and saw his new best of all best friend lying facedown in the sand.

"Oh migawd! Riku!" Sora shouted, worriedly running over, his cerulean eyes checking Riku over to see if he was breathing or not.

"Riku, are you among the living? If not, please kill off or _at least_ haunt Hayden Christensen for his crap acting skills that ruined Starwars for me for the rest of all eternity?" Sora babbled, poking his long haired friend in the shoulder.

Riku made a grumbling sound people make when they are annoyed but have a mouthful of sand to speak over.

"You're okay!" Sora shouted happily as he helped the older boy up. But Riku growled angrily, making Sora 'eep' and jump back as the silver haired boy got to his knees, hands on his thighs.

"You... you're not Riku," Sora stated, taking a few steps back.

A voice that sounded like Riku, a person that looked like Riku (but Sora didn't have much to go by in his mind except teal eyes and silver hair, some friend he is! Geez…), but there was something about him that just wasn't, Riku.

"Yes, you are correct, Sora. I am not Riku. However I _do_ reside in him, and I've been trying to get you to reveal who you really are for quite some time…" Sora had turned on his heal and had zapped off in the other direction at the mention of 'reveal' and was now fiddling with his brick of a phone to call Cloud.

_C'_mon_, pick up_, Sora thought tersely, listening to the ringing and looking behind him to see Riku following at a fast trot.

_Hells teeth_, and he was soooooo close to swearing too this time.

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Cloud was rather intrigued with his date, Leon.

The brunet was stoic and muscular and wore a heck of a lot of leather, but something appealed to Cloud and made the teacher out to be quite the charmer.

Though it _was_ embarrassing to have random kids say 'Hey Squally' throughout most of their date. Apparently Leon was a popular man at Hollow Bastion High.

Cloud licked his ice cream to keep the sticky goodness from dripping on his jeans and gazed at the man in front of him, who was looking cutely awkward with his own ice cream (which Cloud had insisted on buying him).

Cloud knew all too well that he would get in trouble for this, the last person he'd ever dated while being in charge of someone (yes Roxas, he _has_ dated before, you mean person) had been the bad guy all along and had cause for his charge to be taken from his care and now he wasn't allowed near Halloween Town, lest someone recognize him.

He felt a vibration in the back pocket of his dark blue cargo pants and slipped out a sleek black Motorola Razor, excusing himself from the bench that he and Leon had been sharing.

He was about to read the message from Roxas, when another one from Sora popped up, making Cloud worry a little.

He cautiously opened the first text and blanched at what it said.

**Its Axel hre.**

**Roxys knda misin n we fink hes kidnapd.**

**Hlp us fnd him!**

It then proceeded to explain where Roxas was last seen (Cloud could actually read that?). The blond man exited the text message and went to the second one. Fearing the worst, he opened the one from Sora, happy to find that the brunet boy could spell correctly, though not exactly liking what it was he had to say.

**Help me Cloud! Something's wrong with Riku**

**and he's all psycho and**

**trying to kill me!**

**I'm at the beach!!!!!!!!**

**I don't wanna die**

* * *

Well, now that _that_ is out of the way, I'll mention that I own nada 'cept the plot, and someone probably even thought of this idea before I did...

And yeah, keep me happy and review soon, unless you want Zexion (who hadn't appeared in this chapter because he is currently tied to an orange walrus in my closet) to stay in my closet and die without ever knowing what it is he wants with Demyx in my fic...

ACK! Emo boy sings! I _knew_ I shouldn't have put him on dolphin sedatives!

Zexion: So long, so long, and thanks... for all the fish...

Since when did Zexion watch HGTG?


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